Existing beneath his sword [original characterXkenpachi zaraki]

Chapter 10

A/N: This chapter is a little short but it's alright for me LOL

*Small regrets eventually manifest into guilt in your conscious mind and it will eventually consume you.. * My eyes faltered for a moment while I looked at the concrete walls and the shadows of the iron bars that locked me in *His fault* Hakai whispered at the back of my mind and I swore I could sense the big grin on his face.

Pulling my legs to my chest I hugged it hoping it would provide some comfort but only images of the fight and stench of blood flashed through my mind like a repeated scene..it was sickening how I knowingly fought that man when he did not even stand a chance against someone like me " These thoughts are really making me humble isn't it "

I sighed rubbing my temples hoping to ease the tension from my forehead. This was going to be hard on myself since I finally snapped today after finally making a friend " Uri? " The hesitated voice of Toshi made my eyes widen but I kept my head lowered.. I felt shame and embarrassment for my actions, I pulled my legs tighter against my chest and rested my head on my knees " Leave.. " I whispered not gathering the urge to see his horrified expression again.. maybe he was scowling or disgusted by me

" Uri.. I know you regret what you did but he is fine...on the other hand he deserved it "

My eyes snapped up and I glared at him momentarily.. I failed to keep my stare and just sighed leaning my head against the wall with a small smile on my lips " Yeah he did.. maybe it was just a way for me to release all my anger on him.. I've been so pent up lately with my spiritual pressure and I wanted to feel the thrill of using my sword- it was amazing and I will never forget it " I whispered mainly to Hakai and glanced at Toshi who stood there with a sad expression.

Why did he look like that?

I continued to stare at him analyzing his face but before I could ask what was wrong kenpachi strolled into the room with a bored expression.. his hair still had bells on them along with the eyepatch " You are being transferred to my squad "  The room was filled with silence and I swore I could hear my own heart beating heavily in my throat.. along with the occasional gentle rings of Zaraki's bells

my eyes went backed to Toshi and I bit my lower lip realizing why he had that uneasy expression " Why? Did my captain give permission? " I asked feeling confused and his eye glanced down at my form. Those black empty eyes had a glint to them and I tried to act terrified but it only made his usual frown turn into a grin " I know about your abilities and how you put on a facade pretending your nothing but a coward " His voice made my stomach drop along with my act..

My eyes narrowed and I clenched my fist staring him down.. the urge to reply sarcastically was etching into my mind until toshi spoke up again " Uri.. You need to be more careful and aware of yourself! " His voice brought me out of the staring contest with my new captain and I glanced over at his shaking form " Please.. be more mindful "

My eyes lowered to the floor and I turned away from both of the men standing in front of my cell.. with my back facing them I tried not to scream in anger at his words.. * why am I hiding anyways? * 

[A week later]

Time went by fast and I had a routine set for myself while in my holding cell Wake up every morning, meditate, eat, meditate and sleep. It was nice every now and then Toshi came to visit me he kept me company even though I told him to leave me alone..

He always had the funniest things to say and stories that made me miss the 4th squad but the transfer was already done and my personal items were already taken to the 11th barracks.. apparently I beat one of their higher seats and was offered a position on the squad since it was more befitting for my personality and abilities? It was a stupid explanation and honestly I was dreading that I would be expected to fight more and push my physical strength... what if I didn't want to get stronger? What if I wanted to be a coward?

My eyes trailed to the man who introduced himself as Ikkaku.. His eyes had strange red marks at the corner of his eyes and the obvious physical trait of his bald head was hard to miss.. " You are quite small but there must be a reason the captain chose you.. if think about it you are lucky to be transferred to the 11th squad since the 4th division is mostly in the healthcare area "  Ikkaku spoke casually with a bored expression and glanced at me while we walked out of the holding cells

" Mhm.. " I responded not really in the mood to make small chat with him and started walking ahead since I knew my way to the 11th squad Barracks. Ikkaku caught up easily and leaned forward looking at my face with a curious expression on his face " Why were you hiding your spiritual pressure? Don't cha want to climb the ranks? " He asked and placed his sword over his shoulder " No. " I responded curtly and glared at him for his stupid questions that were far too personal for me to answer.

The sight of the barracks gates made me cringe and I can already smell all the testosterone emitting from the damned living quarters.. it honestly looked obnoxious and irritating as I stared at it more but I kept these thoughts to myself as we walked pasted the barracks gates.. Ikkaku stopped in front of the door and gave me a thumbs up with a stupid grin plastered on his face " Captain would usually meet you but he is busy with other important things.. be prepared to be evaluated for your fighting skills later on this evening "

He mentioned the last part so casually and a thought came into my mind.. what if I purposely failed the evaluation? Prove it was a fluke?