Till the end.

Nightmares.

I started having the nightmares after Corbin had died, They were terrible. It was the only time words escaped my lips.I was in a dark cave. and it was cold. So cold my lips were blue, and my body was shivering uncontrollably. The darkness hovered over me, and I heard voices talking. They kept saying it's my fault, I did this, I was the cause of his family and friends pain. The scenery changed whenever I closed my eyes. I heard his scream and saw the car hit him all over again. That's when my screaming started. When I was crying and screaming in my sleep. I couldn't escape it. I didn't wake myself up, because I had to see his face at least once more.
"Madison! Are you alright?!" My sister Carmen asked worry clear in her voice. I simply just nodded, But she could tell I wasn't coping very well. She walked over to me and sat down on my bed. She hugged me tightly and said "Baby it's not your fault. Corbin loved you so much! He'd be so proud of you. You've come this far without him, and I know it's hard. I won't lie and say I know what you're going through, but baby girl I'm sharing your pain. Your such a strong, and beautiful girl! Corbin's probably running in heaven, through fields of flowers and bunches of roses. I know you miss him but you need to let him go." I just started sobbing.. My sister hugged me once more, and told me she loved me. I signed I love you in sign language and she shut my door. I got on my iPod, and put on "how to save a life" The Fray. That was my coping song. I miss him so much, I thought to myself. How can he be gone.. I was still in shock and pain. It just tore me apart. It's been 8 months since Corbin died, and since I've gone to school, or even talked. I need to move on. And let him go.