ALEXITIMIA

14 de noviembre 1:06

                        STUPID GIRL

I wish I never feel the dame as you made me feel. I used to love you, yeah, I usted to love you. I knew It wasn't good, but I used to love you. Some times I only think you're next to me holding my hand, but I realized it's only a stupid dream by a stupid girl.
I never had enough courage yo tell you that, so, nos I write this, thinking when we were lying on the shore of that lake, that warm october. It pasted lot of time without think about you, but I don't know why, as the same as always, you come back to my mind.
I feel pain, but I used to feel pain.
You made me thought that I was less, you degraded me, but even so I loved you.
Stupid girl.
Now I look at you in the distance and I remember everything we went through,sometimes I think how intense it was,but then,I try to remember how I was before meeting you, and the only think I get is to get trapped in a dark gray mist, that you created little by little with your lies.
People always told me to get out your way, that you weren't for me, but I was in a cloud and I never believed them. Now I realized they were in the truth. I think about the days that we went to the park and show little kids running, you used to tell me that our kids will be like them, what a lie, what a lie.
I think in the nights in where you used me and then you go. I always went behind you telling sorry, stupid girl. Now I keep waiting for your apologizes, but I know you never feel sorry.
You made me stop eating, you always said that I was fat, now I have to take pills because the anemic.

-L.B