The True Partizan - 4

I Miss Him - Part 1

Ever since Ellie revealed that she was the Princess of Maradova, everything changed.

Ever since Jamie left, everything changed.

Everything changed.

But you changed the most.

*

You pummel the punching bag with all your strength. Your knuckles sting from the repetitive hits, your breath escapes in strained pants, rage sits beneath your eyes, burning and fizzing with each collision of fist and bag.

It's been 6 months.

6 months since you last saw Jamie in winter. 6 months since Ellie revealed her true identity. 6 months since your life spiralled into the opposite of what you wanted.

You collapse onto the bag and slide to the floor, holding your bruised hands to your chest. During the summer you and Lottie stayed with Binah having no other place to go, Binah's family was kind and welcoming, but you spent most of your time away from the house.

Most days you were at the gym, you'd become obsessed with working out to distract yourself from everything, and you'd grown much stronger. You swam frequently, and improved your fighting skills at an impressive rate.

You stand up from the gym floor, walk to the changing rooms to throw on joggers instead of leggings, grab your bag and leave.

When you return to Binah's house her and Lottie are on the deck, poring over a magazine.

"Hey."

Binah looks up, Lottie continues to stare at the magazine.

Binah smiles. "Hi y/n."

Lottie stands ups and thrusts the magazine in your face. "Look at this!"

The cover is a girl with blonde hair and light makeup, a royal blue dress hanging off her body. "Who is..." you trail off, sensing something awfully familiar about the girl's face, her angry eyes, "Ellie?"

Lottie nods ferociously. "It's ridiculous!"

"What happened to her?"

Lottie collapses back into her seat. "I don't know, I miss her y/n."

You take a seat next to Binah, cupping your hands on the table, there's a short silence, the three of you recalling the friends you'd lost.

"I miss him too." You murmur, ignoring the pain laced in your voice.

Binah suddenly grabs your wrist and brings your hand closer to her face, curiously frowning. "What happened to your hand?"

You pull it back defensively. "It was just the punching bag at the gym."

Both girls look concerned.

"You have to be careful, you could hurt yourself." Binah warns.

"Why are you so obsessed with improving your strength anyway?" Lottie adds, "You're not still thinking of finishing your Partizan training are you?"

"No."

It's a lie, you definitely are.

————————————————

When you arrive at Rosewood, even the school seems to have changed. The flowers droopier, the smell damp, the bricks of the building dull. Unlike Lottie, it's only the start of your third year at the school but you feel as if you've been there forever.

When you first joined you learned Lottie was pretending to be a Princess because the Princess didn't actually want to be one, then that everyone was getting poisoned at the school by the Leviathan, then there was the trip to Tompkin's manor where everything went sideways, then Tokyo with more Leviathan and Haru, then back home still stuck with Haru and lies and secrets and Jamie and then....

No Jamie.

Everything reminds you of him. The fountain where you fist kissed, the hallways, the music room, the food hall, the courtyard.

You had kept Vampy since you spoke to Jamie outside that cabin. The cat had become very loyal to you, and is sat by your feet as you look upon the school, licking his paw.

You walk to the Ivy dorms with your sister, lugging your suitcase and following Vampy as he pitter patters along the floor.

Your heart stops as you pass Jamie's dorm, so you shove open the door to you own dorm room, dropping your suitcase with a thud onto the floorboards. Vampy scurries in and takes his place on the window sill, where there is now a fluffy cat bed with food bowls on the ground beneath it.

Your eyes find the beautiful oak tree outside, swaying in the wind as its leaves brush the glass of the window. It's so calm, green, peaceful.

You unpack your belongings, but freeze as you spot something discarded on the bottom of your suitcase.

The stripy paper peppermint bag.

The paper crackles as you pick it up, and you draw the chair at your desk, emptying its contents onto the table.

Jamie's smashed pendant lies before you, a strong whiff of peppermint escaping from the bag.

You stare at it, part of the Wolf is still intact, its single ear sharp and red eye glinting.

You hunt through your desk drawer and produce a tube of super glue, delicately attempting to piece together the pendant and gluing it back together.

When you're finished you examine your work, comparing it to your own Maravish pendant. Despite what happened you don't fail to wear yours everyday, it represents the impact the royal family had on your life, it's a piece of you that you can't let go.   

Jamie's pendant is the same, but now has cracks across the wolf face. You flip it and engrave two letters on the back: JV.

Jamie Volk. It's his, it's always been his. And you want to keep it in case he ever takes it back.

You slide the pendant back into the sweet bag and jump up to place it onto the top shelf of your wardrobe.

There's a knock at the door, you walk over and open it, but no one's there. You glance around, and notice on the floor a cupcake with a candle in it.

You pick up the cake and walk back into the room, closing the door with your foot and staring curiously at the cake.

Vampy approaches you, weaving between your legs. You pick him up and sit on the bed, stroking his coarse thick fur that's the same ashy shade of black as Jamie's hair.

The cat meows loudly.

"Yeah, Vampy." You pluck the candle out of the cupcake. "Happy Birthday to me."