The True Partizan - 4

The Letters - Part 2

'Jamie's been sending me letters'

Everyone stares at Percy.

You're in your hideout under the Erwin statue, on video call with the Japanese students and the rest of your Rosewood friends.

"What did he say?" Sayuri asks inquisitively, breaking the silence.

"He said..." Binah begins, "He's been getting letters from Jamie."

You continue to gape at Percy, he looks guilty, avoiding your gaze.

"Why didn't you tell me?" You utter.

Percy can see the heartbreak in your expression, 'I didn't want to upset you y/n, Jamie's written to me about Vampy. He thinks I'm looking after the cat, but you are.'

Binah translates for Banshee, Rio suddenly blurts, "Awkward!"

You frown, Jamie writes to Percy...but not you?

"I- I have to go." You state, grabbing your bag and leaving the hideout hurriedly.

Thoughts of Jamie race through your mind, this isn't unusual, but now they're more unpleasant than before.

Why? Why did he leave? Why is he ignoring me? Why does he hate me? Why did he abandon me? Why? Why? Why?

You have to get to the gym.

But...is it really healthy to over exercise as much as you are? Wear yourself down so much you have no energy left for more important things? There must be somewhere else you can go, somewhere...

The music room.

As soon as the piano enters your line of vision it appears like a looming, evil monster.

It's just a piano, but the memories it holds are...

Stupid. They're stupid.

You shake off your feelings and force yourself to sit down at the piano, lifting the lid and resting your hands on the keys. They're cold to the touch, smooth on your fingertips. Last time you played the piano you ended up crying, and that was before Jamie left, so how emotional would you be this time?

You take a deep breath and force yourself to play, channelling all of your hectic thoughts and letting them run free on the beautiful instrument, the music is sad and emotional and painful and frantic and dramatic all at once. As if everything welled inside you is finally breaking free.

You play for a few minutes or so, then can't take it anymore, rushing out of the room and fighting back the tears that prick your eyes.

You're nearly back at your dorm room when you spot Percy in the corridor and stop abruptly.

For the first time you're annoyed Percy's your neighbour because of what you recently learnt, and because he reminds you of Jamie every time you see him.

There's a long pause as you stand and attempt to read each other's expressions, eventually Percy opens his and Jamie's door, gesturing for you to come in.

You like that when you're with Percy you don't always have to use words, it's calm and quiet.

But as soon as you see Jamie's belongings that calm is vanquished and replaced with a storm of emotions.

It's the same as it was 6 months ago before you went after him, it's the same and yet so different, as if his half of the room is only the ghost of Jamie, an event too long in the past to remain clear. A foggy, painful memory. Yet it's only foggy because you blur it.

The sound of Percy rifling through paper breaks you from your trance, and you force your eyes away from Jamie's belongings and walk over to his side of the room instead.

Percy produces a small pile of letters, the handwriting is frantic and slanted, sharp. Jamie.

You sign 'Thank you' and take them from him, apprehension rising in your chest.

Dear Percy,
It's me, Jamie. Jamie Volk. I'm sorry I had to leave you without a roommate, and with a cat, I just wanted to make sure you know how to look after Vampy. He's grumpy but he'll warm up to you soon enough, don't give him extra food even if he meows for it, he's heavy enough as he is.
JV.

Your breath catches in your throat, your grip on the first letter tightening, you tentatively move it to the bottom of the pile, moving on to the next-

There's a knock at the door.

"Y/n, I was looking for you, can I come in?" Lottie asks, Percy nods, she enters.

"Are those...are they?"

You nod, your gaze dropping back to the paper.

"Oh."

"Lottie," you choke, not able to hold back your tears any longer, "He doesn't know what he's doing, he's- he's brainwashed, he's angry, too angry, he doesn't know what they're doing, he doesn't know what they're doing to him."

You collapse onto Jamie's bed, hugging your knees to your chest as your breathing comes in shudders and gasps. "He doesn't deserve any of it! He's too good, he cares too much, they lied, Maradova lied and he thinks it's Ellie's fault but it's not! It's not her fault! He never would've found out on his own if it wasn't for me! I made him leave and now he hates me. He has the Leviathan now. He has...Haru."

Lottie rushes to your side, placing a comforting hand on your shoulder. "What do you mean?"

"I'm not so sure myself, it could just be paranoia, or jealousy, but, I sensed there was something going on between them you know? Not physical, just emotional. The glances, the shared touches...Jamie even said he trusted Haru more than me."

A tear drops from you cheek onto one of Jamie's letters, blurring the ink...but you notice something about the word it hit.

Your name.

You aggressively wipe the remaining tears from your face with your sleeve and bring the letter into view.

Dear Percy,
It's me again. I hope you're feeling well, and I hope the others are too. I'm sorry I can't use a return address on these letters, I wish you could reply. Another thing that I didn't consider about Vampy, is that he could actually leave our dorm. And if he has and you're wondering where he is, the only other place he could be that I can think of is with y/n. Don't tell her about these letters, please, she'll look after Vampy just fine if she does have him. He always liked her anyway.
JV.

You glance up at Percy across the room, he's watching, empathy laced in his eyes.

'Thank you so much, Percy.'

He nods, and it's then you notice Lottie's crying too.

"Lottie, what's- are you okay?"

She sniffs loudly, her nose pink. "I'm fine- I just, I can't bear seeing you so upset, I know how you feel because- well because."

You understand immediately. "Ellie, because of Ellie."

She nods, not able to control herself anymore as the sobs rack her shoulders. "I'm terrified y/n. I miss them both so much and I-"

You hug your sister as tightly as you can, and her breathing slowly steadies.

"We'll get them both back Lots, we'll never stop trying.

I promise."