I stand there for a minute with my back learned on the door.
"Fuck." I say rubbing my face and sighing.
Walking into my bathroom, I see the box in my peripheral vision, the sight of it made me stomach turn. I snatched it off the counter and shoved it deep into my trash can.
I rubbed the remaining makeup that was smeared around my face with one of the many makeup wipes that littered my sink.
"Out of sight out of mind." I whispered repeatedly to myself while closing my eyes tightly.
I search my room for my phone to let Dez know she can come over and throw my phone on the bed watching it get buried immediately in my messy blankets.
Flopping down on my back I stare out the small skylight in my ceiling.
"You're gonna cause a lot of shit, I hope you know that you little fucker." I snarled while poking at my abdomen.
I stare at my stomach rise and fall as I breathed, a small ray of sun shines perfectly onto my belly causing my belly ring to glisten causing me to think.
"I mean maybe it won't be that bad though.."
My mind floods with thoughts.
What would their name be?
What features of mine will you have?
Will your first word be "mama" or "dada"?
What sports would you want to play?
Will you be right handed or left?
Whatever the case may be between me and you.. I feel like I'm starting to fall in love with the idea of you already...
Huh?
What am I even thinking right now?
"HEY BIIEEEIIIITCH!!" Dez says barging through my beaded door covering with her arms in the air.
I could hear the bottles in her purse clanking together as she shaked her butt in my doorway.
She stopped almost immediately when she saw I wasn't returning the energy.
"Bitch? I got the Hennessy, why aren't you turning the fuck up?" She asked setting her purse down gently onto the chair that laid next to her.
She came and sat next to me, I could feel her staring down at me. I watched some birds pass over head as I tried paying her gaze no mind.
Suddenly a tear falls down the side of my face. I hoped so badly that she didn't see that.
Suddenly she lays on my chest and holds me tightly against hers.
Not a single word was said. She just held me and rocked side to side.
I just expected all my emotions into her thin small track jacket.
A couple minutes pass and we sit up and our eyes meet. Her beautiful blue eyes were red and filled with tear but still a smile crept onto her face as she cupped my head in her hands.
"Cmon now, you got my fuckin' eyelash coming off and shit." She says laughing, looking up and fanning her eyes.
"You don't even know why-"
She interrupted.
"Baby, I know you better than I know my own momma, you ain't neva been the type to back down from a lil booze. And someone that isn't pregnant and likes a drink wouldn't crumble in my arms faster than a Jenga tower during an earthquake over a gaddamn hug." She says giving me a smirk.
When she puts it like that then people will know in an instant if I don't get my emotions in check.
"My sister was around this age when she had my nephew so I know this scary as hell, but as long as you got me we finna get through it together, I promise you that much. Me, you and that dopeheaded baby daddy you got."
Hearing this gave me a little more piece of mind. I'm still scared to hear how the rest of the world around me may take the news, but at least I have my biggest supporter by my side.
"Thank you Dez. You don't understand how much I needed you right now." I say pouting and reaching my arms out for a hug.
She gives me a hug, hops up and rummages through her bag.
"Now, let me see this test." She taking a big shot.
