Forever love forever love forever love forever love forever love
Nyla POV
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I sat there on my couch reading back the messages I just sent. It was really late, after talking with tootsie he had to leave for something. Not realizing I needed that I was able to tell him everything, instead of just crying to myself.
I was wondering what was happening and why everything was happening now when I was doing so good. I just wanted so many things to go back to normal.
Looking at my phone I read the message one more time I had sent to Taurus. When tootsie left I couldn't call him back so I just had to text.
Maybe we're not in the right time for an us. There's too much arguing right now and I honestly need a little peace. Tell me how you feel.
What I said was true, I don't think we can be together if someone can always come between us. It's clear we're both not done living and experiencing to be in a full on committed relationship.
I don't think he knows how wrong it was to go see his ex and honestly I can't deal with stuff like that. So I'll either wait until he's ready or find something better.
After hearing a knock on the door I stood and walked over towards the front door and like a dummy I didn't look through the peephole.
I just opened the door and again I was too tired to yell.
I walked away from the door letting durk walk inside and he closed it while I stood by the kitchen. He knew what I said the last time I saw him and he was gon really show up and try me.
"You remember what I said when I saw you right?"I asked and he nodded stepping closer like an idiot.
"Yes but-"he stopped talking the second I pulled the gun from my spot in the kitchen and we both looked at the gun then each other. I pointed it at him and his eyes stayed on it for a second.
"Say what you gotta say"I said and he shut his eyes nodding taking a deep breath.
"I can't have you hating me, I can't leave knowing I didn't try everything for your forgiveness because I wouldn't be able to forgive myself" he said slowly walking to me.
"What I took part in was fucked up and I can never take it back I knew how much family ment to you and I let it get taken away without letting you get your revenge and I understand why it's so hard to even look at me"he said and I scoffed.
"No you don't!"I gritted out.
"But I do I chose you over her when you were counting on me and I acted as if you ment nothing when you really mean everything. That whole thing we had to all take part in was really an excuse I couldn't wait any longer to see you I wanted to come back the first month and tell you what a huge mistake I made"he said still walking closer.
"I couldn't think of what I could do to have you feel at least a tad bit better until I did"he said still walking but he was getting to close and me threatening him with this gun wasn't helping.
"Stop moving closer"I said but he didn't listen and for a moment I thought he was calling my bluff, but it clicked he thinks this is what he has to do to get my forgiveness.
As he walked closer I aimed the gun at his head and when he was finally in front of me I watched him bend down getting on his knees and I aimed it at his head.
Closing his eyes he spoke.
"If this is what you need to do to feel a little better I'll give you my life because I love you and I can't live seeing that hatred in your eyes when you look at me so I'd rather you just kill me"he said and didn't look back up.
I don't know if he knew I couldn't actually do it or he really was putting his life in my hands. But he had so much to loose children, career life.
"What about your kids?"I ask and it sounded more like a whisper.
"They are safe"is all he said as he kept his eyes closed.
"And you would give that up?"I asked.
"Yes, I'm choosing you"he said and that line hit, this is what I wanted him to choose me. Yet In this moment I didn't want this. I couldn't kill him and I knew I couldn't so why the hell did I make this false promise.
"Get up"I said and he shook his head his eyes remaining closed but I couldn't do this. I wouldn't do this and Id look like a fool knowing I had the chance to kill him and I didn't.
"Please get up"I whispered.
"I can't"he whispered back and my hand started shaking but I didn't drop the gun instead I let myself fall on my knees placing the gun of the side of me.
"Look at me"
And he did our eyes meeting and we both stared at each other letting our eyes do the talking, words our mouths couldn't speak. In this moment I should've taken the shot, but I couldn't.
Having to make him leave was hard and I knew trying to kill him would be even harder. I hate him for what he did, but that also can't take away from the other feelings I still have. I miss the happy ness he made me feel. Even with all all that hate.
I gave him my heart and he broke it. But even so I'm debating of giving him it again. I know what people would say, how wrong it is how stupid I am and naive. But no matter what I haven't fully got over him.
Maybe if he was gone for a while longer I could've but right now I'm stuck between love and hate, the hate is stronger but the love only wants to grow.
He's leaning in and I can't help to do the same. I missed his lips and him and maybe that's what I was denying when polo said I had feelings for him. But it still wasn't right for him to leave me for his ex, instead he should've talked to me.
Our lips are centimeters apart and we are both waiting for one another to connect them. I don't tho because that would mean I gave up.
I smell the minty ness of his breath and I wait for him to try and kiss me. So I can either one push him off and yell even more or two give in and kiss him back.
But I won't kiss first. So when he takes so long I start to stand only for him too pull me back down connecting his lips with mine.
My eyes close and I feel what I haven't felt in long time regret and relief. With his lips on mine I can taste what I've been missing and craving not knowing. But I also feel like I'm betraying someone feeling selfish because I know all the people I'll hurt from this one kiss.
So I push him off standing and walking to my room knowing if I stayed down there I'd end up doing something even worse then a kiss.
I got in my room closing the door and sitting on my bed. I didn't hear him chase me so maybe he knew I didn't wanna make any further mistakes. That night I stayed up thinking wondering if he left and how much I'll regret not killing him in the morning.
But I also knew it was a good thing I told Taurus that I didn't know about us because I didn't wanna bring him into any of this having him questions wether I would be with him or not.
He didn't deserve my problems or my curiosity about me and durk and the feelings I think I still have.
