23 Hours of Hell

Night: THREE

I'm so exhausted. Probably shouldn't have taken those night college classes. I walk down the street, following the street lights. The blocks are silent. I look at my watch. 10PM. I listen to the sound of the heals of my boots tapping on the payment with every step. I look at the stores on the block as I walk. Many of them are closed or already closing. I keep walking until I find a late night café. I open the door, the door chimes rings. A couple's laughter overwhelms me as I walk in, living in their own world at the moment, unaware of my entrance. I go up to the counter, the bartender, a blonde hair, brown eyed woman in her forties. Her black roots are inching out.

"Whatcha havin' tonight, hun?"

I look up at the menu. I've always been bad at ordering, but nothing seems to please me on the menu.

"A mocha latte please." I blurt out. I don't really want that but anxiety took over me. The bartender, Meli, as her tag says, starts preparing it.
I take out my phone. 10:30PM. Geez, that walk must've been really slow tonight. I look back at the tables, I make eye contact with a man. He looks away. He looks like he's in his late thirties, caramel hair, piercing dark brown eyes and half shaven. He picks up his coffee cup and drinks. He puts it down and his eyes slowly move to meet mines. I look back at Meli who is covering the top of my latte.
"Here ya go hun, that's $3.00." I look into my purse and pull out a handful of random singles. I try to unfold them from their crinkly nature. I hand them to her and thank her. I walk out.

At this point, I don't know if to stop and call a cab or keep walking. I hear his footsteps behind me, keeping his distance but still close enough to hear mine. I look up the street for any signs of a cab, but the streets were dark and isolated. I speed up my walk enough for it to not be noticeable. I hear him speed up to me. He hasn't left me ever since I left the café, and I don't think he'll leave me alone now. All of a sudden, I feel pressure in the back of my head. Everything goes black like the night.

I look at the coat hanger in my hands. My hands are trembling, barely being able to hold the hanger. Tears run down my face, knowing that I'm not making the best choice. This isn't your fault, it isn't mine either. Its his. I'm so sorry.

I grasp my mother's hand. The pressure and pain is too intense for my body that it feels like giving out.

"Push honey, you're doing great!" Mother says. I can feel the doctors hands almost in me. I practice the breathing that the doctor told me to do and kept pushing.

I wait outside of the school door and watch as the little ones burst out the door as their little backpacks jiggle along with their bodies. I start searching for a head full of black hair and green eyes, my little twin. Penton looks around and I raise my arm and wave. She spots me and runs up to me. I crouch down and give her a big hug. A little boy with blonde hair comes up to her and taps her on her shoulder. She releases me and turns around. He hands her a little blue smiley sticker. She looks down at it and smiles. He smiles back and runs to a man who I assume is his father. Penton looks at the man, then she looks so cute at me.

"Mommy, why does Kevin have a father but I don't?" Her eyebrows scrunch. I look at her and look away, trying to find some sort of excuse.

"Well, Penton, some families have fathers and mothers. Some have mothers and mothers, fathers and fathers, only one father or only one mother. But you know what's the same? They're all families. And we're a family. Even if there is no father, we have each other and we're a family."
Penton looks at me. Her expression goes blank. The ice cream truck is heard from a block away, she smiles and says "I want ice cream, mommy. Can we buy some ice cream today?"
I look at her and smile, thanking god that she didn't ask any more questions.

"Sure honey, lets go get ice cream."

~:~

I start panting, trying to catch my breath on my knees and hands. Mother is on the floor passed out. Lilly rushes in and locks the door behind her. She crouches down and puts her fingers on the side of my neck.

"How are you feeling? Try to slow down your breathing."

I pause between my breaths and nod. I look at mother, laying down on the floor. Lily checks her pulse too. She picks her like a bride.

"I'll be back in a bit." She says. The door opens without her even looking at it and walks through. It closes and locks right behind her. I concentrate on my breathing a little more. I look up at the clock. 6:30PM. The memory of the coat hanger comes to mind. My cries come out in grasps for air. I never thought I could cry this hysterically. Mu teeth clenches and and my lips won't close. I try to wipe the tears away but they keep flowing out. The memory of the robbery starts forming and I start gagging. Ever since that contract, I have not been human. I don't eat, I don't drink, I don't sleep, I don't even use the rest room. And yet the nausea and gagging reflexes are stronger when there's nothing to vomit out.