23 Hours of Hell

Night: TWO (Cont.)

"Well, ask away." Celestian says.

"If my job is to hold the emotional burdens and sadness of people, why is my mother sad? Why are people still sad and broken?"

"Penton, do you actually believe things happen from one night to the next? If all of the burdens fell on you in one night, don't you think that would be a little overwhelming?" He raises his eyebrows, challenging my sanity already.

"Well, I guess you're right. But what exactly happened last night? What was that all about?" I say. All of a sudden, the memory comes in rushing like a fast forward movie. The blood, the snow, the knife, the sirens. I cover my mouth and gag but swallow it down.

"That's normal. It's just your body reaction to the memory." He raises his hands and pulls out a thick, dusty, brown book from the friction of his thumb and index finger. He pulls out a pair of reading glasses with the other. He puts them on and reads:

"Julie Parkson, born June 28, 1977. Lost her mother at the age of three in a robbery. A secretary and now mother of two children." He takes off his glasses and completely distinguishes them right before my eyes along with the book.

"So you're telling me that I received her memories in my head?"

"Correct."

"What happens to her now? Does she forget them? Does she forget her mother ever existed?"

"Of course not! She remembers she had a mother, she just won't remember that particular memory. It is forever lost out of her mind and found only in yours. Everyone has a mother, she can't just forget her mother ever existed"

I think about it long before I dare to ask.

"Is there any way for me to make my mom forget any of this ever happened?"

Celestian pauses. He thinks about it before he opens his mouth.

"There is. But, there are two things to consider. The first one is that there is a high chance of you receiving memories that she had in the past before you were born, memories that burden her."

"I can deal with that. I'd rather do that then to see mother sad and burdened over me or anything else that troubles her. What's the second thing?"

Celestian pauses again, this time a little longer.

"In your situation, she would have to forget memories of you. She would forget you, that you even existed."

I feel my stomach turn.

"But why? Why all of me? Why not just this moment? How come Julie forgets that memory but not her mother yet my mother has to forget all of me? That's not fair!"

"Penton, I understand how hard this must be on your mother. But you have to remember that Julie's mother died. For Julie, she had a mother but her death is all a blur to her now. You can't just make someone suddenly forget where their daughter went when they are conscious that they had a daughter."

I look down at my feet. I can see no floor, only whiteness. What am I willing to do? Do I burden mother for the rest of her life or do I make her forget me for the rest of her life? If she was here, she'd want to be burdened. That's exactly what she'd want.

"I've made a decision. I choose to free her of her burdens."

Celestian looks at me, half puzzled, half still questioning my sanity.

"Alright then... Oops. I forgot something else."

"Oops?! Really?! There's more? It gets worse?"

"Well I wouldn't say 'worse' but there is something I forgot to mention." He fiddles with his finger nails, a little embarrassed.

"Oh boy. I wonder what it could be. Can't get any better than this!" I say sarcastically.

Celestian pouts his mouth, a little hurt by the sarcasm.

"If you want to obtain the memories of a particular person, you need to do it yourself. This means that you need to draw a cross on the forehead of your mother with your own blood."

"Not to mention how fucked up that sounds, may I remind you that I'm always in a goddamn straitjacket! How the hell am I supposed to do that?"

"I'll let Lily know and she will release you in your sanity hour. How you get your own blood is up to you." Celestian places his thumb on my forehead and his palm on my ear. He traces a cross with his thumb on my forehead.

~ : ~

I open my eyes and I see Lily standing by the locked door. She smiles at me and walks towards me.

"You completely knocked out on your mom yesterday and almost gave her a panic attack! You should've seen her, she was yelling "my baby, my baby!" all the way down the halls. She said she'd comeback today." Lilly says as she unties the ropes off. My back feels amazing, as if I could fly with how loose I felt. I looked up at the clock. 7:02PM. Lilly pulls off the straitjacket and folds it around her forearm. She unlocks the door and locks it behind her. I look down at my hands as if it were the first time seeing them. They seem so big yet they're so tiny compared to Celestian. I hear the door being unlocked. I look up. Lilly, matching uniform dress and hat with the whiteness of the bouncy house room, opens the door. Mother stands right behind her, dressed in a black long sleeve and black slacks, complimenting her black hair. She pierces me with her green eyes. Lilly shows her inside and mother walks in. She sees my freed arms and runs to me. I get up and run towards her with my arms open. We embrace.

"Oh honey, how much I've missed you" she says in muffles near my ear.

"I've missed you too, mother. But you won't miss me for long." I pull her earring out as she lets go of me.

"Penton, what are you doing?"

"I'm sorry mother," I barely manage to say as I try to swallow the painful knot forming in my throat. "I'm doing both of us a favor." Tears are racing down my face as I puncture my thumb with the end of the earrings behind my back.

"Honey, what are you talking about?"

I race towards her and grab her head just like Celestian did to me. "This is good bye, mother." I wipe the tears off my cheek with the back of my free hand. I trace the red cross on her forehead and release her. Blood drips from the bottom of the cross, tracing down her nose and making a turn half way. Mother's eyes illuminate white, her mouth opens wide as she tries to breathe. All of a sudden, all her memories are rushing in, one after another.