Winged

Chapter 13

You know that point where a friendship has reached this peak. All because you have been ignoring a problem. Or you've tried to pretend everything was fine when it was not. When you realized you've reached this point you have to be extra careful about what you say, how you say it, when you say it, or what you do. And it's not easy. Your friend gives you a single glance and you know 'I've fucked up' or 'I did well today.' But truth is, even if the glance says 'I did well today' you have really just fucked up but did it in a pretty damn secret way. You don't think you've actually fucked up but then there comes a time when you know.

It's like you don't know how to say something to them anymore. Like your relationship had been so good at a point, like it had reached its peak and now, now it's time for it to go downhill, to slowly fade and become another memory. From strangers you become friends and siblings. And then you are once again strangers. And it pains you in the end but you are also relieved. You are relieved because along the way, and as you feel your friend drifting away you feel like you're constantly balancing on a rope, holding your breath, fearing and waiting for a misstep. A misstep that will drag you down.

Evan had not come out of his room for two days, and even if he did come out to go to the bathroom or grab something to eat, he would not even spare a glance at Timothee. It was not that he was mad at him. It was just that he knew he owed him an explanation. An explanation he hasn't been able to give yet.

Timothee had never felt so alone in his life. Even back in the living realm even though he didn't have any close friends, he didn't care. Because at the end of the day he had never really felt how it was to have a close friend. And now that he knew how it was, now that he had Evan, now he could admit he was scared for the first time since he got here. He could admit that he was scared he was going to lose Evan. That as easily as Evan had made his way into Timothee's reality, that easily he could now slip away from his fingers.

Timothee, even though Evan was not talking to him or even acknowledging his existence, was glad that he could see Evan. That he could see him sneaking out of his room, he could see that he was in general alright. Even if he was not, Timothee knew he was okay. And that was all that mattered to Timothee.

But at the same time, he couldn't handle it. Every night Timothee would crawl to the sofa without having to fight with Evan on who would sleep on the armchair, he would stare blankly into the darkness without Evan's questions or stupid statements. And eventually the night would go by without him being able to check on Evan whenever a whimper would escape his mouth or whenever his breathing would get heavy, making him sweat as he fought something that didn't exist.

And in the morning, there was not Evan to stare at as he fixed his hair in front of the mirror, or Evan to tease him before leaving, promising that he would be back in a couple of hours. There was not Evan to rashly have breakfast with. There was not Evan to make Timothee mad with his loud chewing.

All of their friends had come by but Evan wouldn't want to speak to any of them, not even Oren. And Timothee was not in the mood to do anything with them. It was like his whole energy had gotten drained by the time Evan had stopped talking to him.

Timothee couldn't go on like that anymore. He couldn't just accept that this would be them from now on. Not because of a stupid picture. No. He wouldn't accept that. That's why this morning Timothe had woken up, and after a couple of concentration and a bunch of deep breaths he was standing before Evan's closed door, pacing back and forth, a restless expression plastered on his features.

"Evan," Timothee called softly, stepping so close to the door that in case it opened he for sure would fall forward. He took a sharp breath in. This is it. He wants Evan back, he would have to bring him. "Look, um... I know you don't want to talk to me, and I get it. I totally get it. In fact, I wouldn't talk to you either. I shouldn't- I shouldn't have... Um... Gods... It wasn't my place but... But a part of me... I just- I thought that, if I just... Um... Knew I could... I don't know what I thought. I don't Evan."