Naukadubi: The Boatwreck

Chapter 8

"Would you like to study, Kamala?" Ramesh asked her, and Kamala looked at him, as though asking,
'What do you think?'
She didn't speak, and in these months Ramesh had learnt to read the language of her eyes.

Ramesh sighed, held forth on the benefits and pleasures of education,. although none of these were necessary, for Kamala, as she was devised to wholeheartedly agree to whatever her husband commands,
Still she looked up at him, and gulped nervously,
"Yes, then educate me."

Now was the difficult part, and Ramesh had no better way of breaking it to her.
"In that case, you'll have to go to school," he told her, his own voice sounded a bit different.
But an even surprised Kamala had blurted out promptly,
"School? At this age?"

Her large eyes and her fluttering eyelashes appeared to be innocently mesmerizing, and smiling at her pride in her own maturity, Ramesh replied politely.
"Girls older than you go to school too."

Kamala didn't protest any more, and Ramesh took her to school in a carriage the next day. Her small hand was held in his, and Ramesh couldn't help but shy at the misfortune of this budding beauty.

The convent school where he had admitted her was huge, with a sprawling campus adorned with lavish greenary, and it's magnitude had made Kamala gasp at first glance.
There were many girls, and she could not count their numbers, both older and younger than her, and suddenly Kamala felt all alone in an universe larger than her imagination, alone without her husband!
As Ramesh was leaving the premises after introducing her with the head sister, Kamala came up to him and started walking alongside him.
"Where do you think you're going?" asked Ramesh.
"You have to stay here."

Kamala's eyes had teared up instantly.
"Won't you stay too?" She asked in a frightened voice, her quivering words raising a havoc in Ramesh's heart as well, but he felt helpless.

With a sigh,.he held her hands gently in his.
"I cannot stay here," told her.

"Then I cannot, either," was Kamala's prompt reply, as she gripped his hand firmly, tears rolling down her crimson cheeks.
"Take me home."

"Chhi, Kamala," Ramesh freed his hand and patted her head instead, freeing his other arm from her firm grip.
"Shame on you... Aren't you a big girl?"

Kamala was taken aback, silenced by this admonition, her face fell instantly, with streams of emotions rolling down her eyes. But she didn't object anymore.

A miserable Ramesh left quickly but her bewildered, helpless, frightened expression remained imprinted on his mind, haunting him in his lonely sleep.

"Was it the right thing to do?" He had mused, repeatedly, waging a war with his self, but everytime, his mind compelled him to believe the immorality of staying with another's wife, taking her as his own... Wasn't she exactly that? Someone else's wife!
Tears had rolled down his eyes as well, fading in his hairline, as memories of their togetherness nudged his heart with a sense of guilt.
It was her innocent smiling face, her alluring beauty, her deep dark eyes, her rose red lips, that occupied his entire being with their playful ministrations, but the feeling of her touch was what made him demented.
"Kamala..." He sighed, burying his face in the pillow, shedding tears in silence.
"Forgive me Kamala... We aren't meant to be together, not in this life." He breathed.

And, a few miles away, sitting by the open window, Kamala too wiped her tears,
"Why did you leave me? Aren't we supposed to be together forever?" She mused, looking at the reflection of her vermillion tainted hairline through the window panes.
"Then why did you chose me to be yours? Why did you marry me? Why did you make me fall in love?"
The realisation of the last word had made her gasp loudly, and she raised her hand covering her mouth at once.

"Love?" She gulped, her eyes widened, 'Is she in love with him? The man who is her husband? The man who is supposed to spend seven lifetimes with her?'
She pressed her eyes shut, releasing the tears from them, her head leaning against the wooden frame of the window.
"Then why couldn't he spent even a year with her?"

"Am I that bad?" She sobbed out, " Oh dear God, tell me, please..."
Her muffled cry rippled like a heart wrenching song, fading away in the gushing wind outside, the same wind that had ruffled Ramesh's heart a few night back.