Crack Fic

2 Demigods Newsies

Camper: *hands out swords*

Newsie: What the hell?

C: sword

N: yeah I can see. Why?

C: why not?

N: because they're sharp and dangerous..?

C: pfft nah these won't hurt any one. For the most part. If they do hurt one of them then you don't want them around anyway.

N: how does..? Do you even know how to USE a sword?

C: I've been trained with swords and archery since I was.. *Counts beads and does mental math* 8? I think?

N: how? Why? Where?

C: summer camp

N:SUMMER CAMP!? WHAT KIND OF CAMP DO YOU FRIKIN GO TO!?
C: ... I don't think I'm allude to tell u

N: just tell me your in a medieval cult or some sh!t

C: nah earlier than medieval

N: what frickin ancient Greece or some sh!t?

C: yeah.

Apollo: *Appears*

C: Apollo, what are you doing here?

Ap: I'm here to help.

N: who is this?

C: my dad Apollo

N: did you just call your mother/father by their first name?

C: yeah

N: how the fuck did he not die!?

C: Apollo what r u actually doing here?

Ap: hiding from Artemis

C: what the h3ll did you do this time?

Ap: I started flirting with her hunters again please help me

C: nah you're on your own for this one dude. 

Ap: Pleeeeaaaaasssee

C: nope.

Artemis: *appears* *is angry* Apollo

Ap: *shreiks like a child*

Ar: What did I say about hitting on my hunters?

Ap: not to..?

Ar: and what did you do?

Ap: hit on them

Ar: what did I say I was gonna do if you did it again?

Ap: baseball bat to the sun chariot and letting your hunting dogs on me..?

Ar: exactly. yo have three seconds to run

ap: *Runs* *screams* Wait! Sis! We can figure this out! not the Chariot! No it's in sports car form! 

C: That's my dad and his awesome lesbian asexual twin sister

N: sun chariot?

C: Oh yeah. My dad is literally Apollo the god of the sun

N: what drugs am I on right now? Am I dreaming?

C: nope. welcome to my life You should see it when Zeus is trying to hide from Hera

N: I'm going back to bed *Walks away*

C: good night!!