Sound of Silence

Chapter 27-Inconvenience

"Mom? Mom?"

The little girl runs into her mom's bedroom and in the morning light can see her mother stuffing her clothes into multiple suitcases.

"Mom?" She calls again.

The woman stops for a minute but continues to pack up "What dear?"

The girl walks beside her mother, playing with the sleeve of a sweater that sits on the bed; the reality of what is happening sinks in "Where are you going? Are you leaving me?"

She sighs and shakes her head "Honey, mom has to go away for a while. I don't have any money, I have no family. I need to reset. Your father ruined fucking everything."

The mom has tears streaming down her cheeks, suddenly she is aggressively grabbing clothes- slamming them into the suitcase and struggling not to scream at her young daughter.

"You know I love you right? I love you. I love you. I love you Monroe. I just can't support you right now. Your father has taken everything from me, my parents have passed away and my siblings are worthless pieces of shit. I can't take you. I need stability before you come with me, okay?"

The little girl scrunches her nose trying to make sense of what her mom is saying "But, why are you leaving?" The girl knows that something shifted when she told her mom about the woman yesterday, but she didn't know what.

"Your father...your father ruined our marriage."

"Is this about the woman?"

Her back tenses as she slams the suitcases shut "Yes, Monroe, obviously. You're old enough to know what cheating is."

The girl didn't know what sex was at the time, and her brain was working overtime to make her change and forget the memory of her father laying naked on a woman, the grunts, the moans.

The girl starts to sob, she sits down on the floor "Mom, don't leave me here."

"Honey please." The woman is sobbing with her child, the cries pushing out from deep within her chest "Honey please forgive me please, I'll come back. I don't have a home for you right now. Your father loves you, just not me. I love you."

The woman holds her daughter in her arms and cradles her head "I'll come visit you I promise, okay? I just need to go somewhere for a little, okay?"

The little girl doesn't reply, she grips onto her mother knowing that this will be last time she sees her in this bedroom, in this house, with her husband and daughter.

"Monroe? Hey, Monroe?"

My eyes rip open and I notice my damp cheeks and the wet pillow underneath me.

Great, I woke up again. I sigh and can feel my heavy eyelids drop down, the light outside makes me sick.

"Monroe?"

"What."

Ashton peeks his head into my peripheral "You were...well you were crying, you okay?"

I yawn "No."

Talking seems so exhausting, living seems so draining.

"Want to get breakfast?"

I shake my head and turn to my side, burying my head into the pillow.

Ashton sighs, waiting a moment he stutters out an invitation to cuddle.

I pause for a minute and accept, turning into his chest he wraps his arms around me and cradles my head "Do you want to talk about anything?"

Thoughts of last night flood back to me, does Ashton actually want to be with me?

"What now? What should I do?"

I can feel his breath tickling my temple and for some reason it's comfortable, it's nice.

"I don't know Monroe, but you're done living at your father's house. You can stay here if you'd like, I'll take care of you. I'm here now."

"So just all of a sudden we're good, we're a couple and all is well?"

I can feel his head shake "No. I don't know where I stand with you, but I know where you stand with me."

"Where's that?"

"I want to be there, to take care of you. I want to make up for the times I wasn't there for you. Allison was just a way to gain my mom's favor, but I know now that isn't worth my happiness and freedom. I just want you."

"Does your mom like Allison more than me for some reason?"

"I don't know, she's always liked Allison and she lights up when she talks about her...I thought that if I got with her she would light up that way talking about us, me. She only lights up when talking about Allison and I...but not when it's just me. It doesn't matter what I do I guess. I'd rather be happy and with you than frustrated and dating a girl I don't care for."

I try to understand it but my head hurts, my mind is blank "Does your mom not like you?"

Ashton stiffens beside me, for a while it is silent "She's too busy with her own problems to give two shits about me I guess. Been that way since she got depressed. I guess a relationship with her perfect idea of a girl made her excited, something to think and talk abou that isn't crying about my dad working too much or how shitty she is."

"Oh." That's all I can reply with as I empathize with what it feels like as a child to beg for a mother's love, affection, attention, praise, recognition "I'm sorry, I get it in a weird way."

He chuckles and nods then rests his head on mine "You're the only person to give me the time of your day without making me feel like it's an inconvenience."

I let myself lay in his arms, surrounded by warmth and protection, and somewhere inside of me I feel my trust in Ashton slowly rebuild. I let myself calm down, I let myself forget about my situation and my dad, my mom, my pain, my hurt, and I just live for the moment I am in now-wrapped in Ashton's arms realizing that I don't have to be so lonely anymore.