Off-Broadway

In Which Lydia is in Distress

In Which Lydia is in Distress

<<Aren't you...a damsel in distress?

I'm a damsel, I'm in distress, I can handle this. Have a nice day.>>

"No."

"Yes."

"No."

"Yes!"

"Toby, we are not watching another musical, much less a Disney film," Allison says, putting her hands on her hips.

"Now, normally I would say no to a Disney film-"

Allison interjects: "Really?"

"-But Hercules has a great voice cast, I mean, Susan Egan starred in the Broadway version of Beauty and the Beast, which I think was a lot better than the film-"

"Toby." She lets out an exasperated sigh.

"Allison," Toby says with equal exasperation. "Hercules is practically a classic. Michael Bolton even-"

"Let's just watch the movie." Allison would rather see it than hear about it; Toby's ramblings, while endearing, get old fast.

Toby doesn't argue and bounds into the movie room, where Allison finds the opening trailers already playing. He totally just tried to annoy her on purpose to get her to watch it.

♪

"This is the best part!" Toby slaps her arm a little too hard in excitement.

Allison rolls her eyes just in time to hear Hercules say something about looking to save damsels in distress. Great. Another stereotypical knight in shining armor; what else did she expect from a movie called Hercules? No doubt he'd find a damsel who'd swoon at the sight of his huge biceps and oversized chin.

"Aren't you...a damsel in distress?" Hercules looks up at a girl swathed in purple.

"I'm a damsel, I'm in distress, I can handle this. Have a nice day," says the girl, unimpressed with Hercules' heroics.

"Wow." Allison is impressed. (With the girl, not Hercules.)

Toby beams at her. "Bet you didn't expect that, huh?"

Allison's flabbergasted, to say the least. First, a Disney hero who didn't get the girl? A damsel in distress who actually tried to save herself? Maybe Hercules isdifferent from other movies. Plus, there's only been the occasional song so far, which makes it even better.

Toby smirks when she doesn't reply. "Keep watching. The best part is almost here!"

Allison doesn't bother reminding him that he's said that already. So the next time he says it, she's ready to be impressed yet again. Though she doubts Disney could top that first best part.

"It's all right. The sea of raging hormones has ebbed," Meg says as she whips away a curtain to reveal Hercules. Allison feels the corners of her mouth twitch up into a small smile. Like, is that even appropriate for little kids to hear? Allison can appreciate this more PG-13 side of Disney.

"Meg's pretty cool," Allison has to admit.

"You think so?" Toby's smile widens. "Just wait til you see the best part."

Allison rolls her eyes again, shaking her head as her eyes flick back to the screen.

♪

"So what was your favorite part?" Toby wants to know, and to be quite honest, Allison is having a hard time deciding.

There was, of course, the time Meg told Hercules she could save herself, or after that, when she said "It's been a real slice," or maybe even when she sang "I Won't Say I'm In Love," because yes, finally an independent girl who totally did not need a man.