Baby, Don't Cut

Why I wrote this~

Hey, fellow teenagers.

Why did I write this? I don't know in exact words. Don't you sometimes get the feeling of wanting to just get something out of your system and putting it somewhere on paper? A computer system? Something?

Maybe that's why.

I will be clear here, I have never gone through these feelings before, of suicide etc. Hopelessness, sure, everyone does. There are those people who deal with that feeling. And then there are some that can't and want an outlet.

And unfortunately, they take drastic measures that may harm their lives. And worse, if it does harm their life, they won't care.

They think Death is better than living this life.

You don't know that.

No one knows that. You don't know what will happen after you leave this planet and miserable life. We have a misguided view of life, don't we? We think we're alone, with no one who cares for us.

There is always someone. And in my wacky world, that someone doesn't necessarily have to be a human being (a human being is the best option, but not the only one).

Why do I say wacky world? Maybe because people, this 'society' will find it wacky. But then, who cares about society? Ok, people do. I don't. So I'd rather be wacky, weird and happy than confirm with the sometimes silly rules and be sad inside.

Like I said, I have never had suicidal thoughts, nor have I taken to pills or drugs or cutting, for that matter. I don't know anything about that world, just what i've read everywhere. I credit my mother, my dear mother who I fight with like worse than cats and dogs, who has, since I was small, told me to keep a positive attitude and never consider suicide. No, not because I'll get punished in hell blah blah blah- hey, man made those 'heavenly' rules 9its my belief, no hate comments). Life is horrible. But at least, in some way, you know your way through it. You can plan things in it, anticipate it, start over again and again and deal with the misery.

Can you anticipate what will happen when you die? No, you can't, and I don't care about what religious books say- no one knows, Sure, there are people with near death experiences who talk about a tunnel of light and something (I do believe in that) but that's it. A tunnel. Is it safe? Is it better than life. They don't know.

I might not have dealt with these issues before but i get it- sometimes, I've wanted to just run away from my home and deal with the outside world, because I think its better than my home situation. Same concept- we take the outside world do be like death and the home to be our life that we hate and makes us miserable.

But then, I don't. Why? Because i don't know what the outside world is. Same way, we don't know what death is. So i come back home and deal. You come back to life and deal.

Am I being mean? Am I being not understanding? Probably. You'll say, ugh, but she doesn't know what some of us go through, how can she speak?

I can, because its not about the 'situation'- its about the 'feeling'. You feel the need to escape, or to talk to someone, in any situation, and when you don't find it, you do things like this.

I'm not being judgmental. We teenagers, and sometimes, adults, think that no one gets us, that our problems are unique. Do you see those teenager posts on tumblr and google+ and all? Do you express surprise and knowing that there are people around the world with the same feeling?

And what does that tell you?

You're not alone.

We escape in different ways. I escape by reading, by escaping into another world where the characters won't judge you. Some watch a movie. Some drown out sounds by jamming to songs (#MucisIsLife). Some talk to their close friends.