My Blade Breakup

Mt blade calls out to me,

It tells me that it is my friend,

And ohh too many times do i believe him,

You see he was there for me when i thought no one else was,

He would show me how much he cared for me by showing me the color of my blood,

But even though i was with him something wasn't right,

He would sometimes tell me that i should give up the fight,

That i should let him take the pain away even if it was just for a night,

Sometimes i would say no,

But somehow he would always convince me,

Convince me to let my inner demons win,

They would vanish for a minute but then just come back again,

I don't understand I would say,

" I thought you were my friend,

Instead you keep me bound by the scars on my skin,"

He said,"Hey, you are the one who keeps coming back to me

I bleed away your sorrows

I take away the pain

I was the one there when you felt nothing but shame."

But what does he really do for me after i have cried,

He does what paint does after it has dried,

He just gives me something to look at to remind me of the pain,

He sometimes makes me feel like life is just a game,

I feel like I'm losing a little bit each day,

But I'm not really,

He just makes me feel that way,

Some people don't understand why I say such things,

I don't understand at times either,

But i now i Know that he only brings me down,

Down down until i am 6 feet under the ground,

We were together and i told him that this relationship wasn't going to work,

That i wasn't going to, let him kill me and put me in the dirt,

He acted so surprised like he didn't understand,

He said that i would be back because i needed him,

I told him that i didn't and i wouldn't be back,

I told him that he didn't bring me to life,

I told him that he was slowly killing me,

I wanted to live,

That is what i am doing now,

I still hear him sometimes begging me to come back,

But I will never because i am a survivor,

Even when i feel that i am nothing,

I am a survivor,

Even when i want to crawl back to him,

I am a survivor

Even when sometimes.... I do,

I am a survivor when i have to break up with him time and time again,

Some people judge me and call me a "freak"

Because they don't understand how much he really meant to me,

He was the one who held me when i cried,

He was the one who picked me up when i wanted to die,

He was the the one who comforted me with all his lies.

People say, "Oh that is disgusting,"

My blade was my best frenemy

This was the most serious relationship I had ever had,

I can't be like Taylor Swift and tell him, we are never ever ever getting back together,

Because i miss him

I am not ashamed to admit it

Breakups hurt

When I feel like my life is nothing but a leaf,

I hear him calling to me

Saying, "Let me fix it for you

Let me take it all away,

Let me arrange a meeting for you with the angels,

It is so hard to say no to him when I've been saying yes all this time,

But somehow I find the strength to carry on,

I found the strength to write this poem,

I find the strength to be OK ,