him-euphoria

"It's ashtray"

I remember the first time it happened to me, I got so scared I wanted to call 911 after seeing all the blood on my two cut wrists. Go to the hospital and be kept alive by machines and apple juice."
"But I didn't want to get caught, or look like an idiot, and I didn't want to fuckup everyone's night."
And then over time, that's all I wanted, those 10 seconds of nothingness.
"Claudia, dude Claudia, we are here get up" Gia was screaming at me. We were picking up rue from rehab.
She spent most of the summer there, it was more of a group where they helped her or some shit and prayed? I don't fucking know.

Besides that, we finally stepped out of the grass when I saw her long curly dark brown hair. I felt like a track star when we were sprinting to eat each other.

"RUEEE," I said while laughing

"How are you?" rue said smiling, rue was happy...

"Good" I paused, I was kinda out of breath "I've missed you" when I looked at her I saw her badge, clean for 2 months.

"Have you grown already??" then we both just started laughing after rue said that, she knew I would always be short but she didn't have to always say it.

Gia got in the front seat, of course, she didn't say hi to rue, she just stared out the window the whole time. I don't knwo why she is looking for something in the cornfields because if I were her I would start talking to my sister that had been gone for like 2 months?

Well, that's exactly what I did. I and rue just talked about how boring her rehab was, but then we just paused for some time, and then I changed the subject. To be honest I don't enjoy talking about rehab.
I don't ever want to go there, ever.
" I'm very happy for you rue, you're about to start a brand new chapter," mom said then took her eye off the road just to see if rue heard, she didn't respond.

Just smiled.
That seemed off because I thought she would say, "Yeah, being clean is amazing". But we both know it is just the worst feeling in the world.
_____________________________________
It was the end of summer, the week before school started.
By the look rue gave to mom about 3 minutes ago I could tell she had no intention of staying clean.
—-------time skip (5 days)—--------
After about 5 days of being home, it was nice. I'm pretty sure she is still clean. Maybe not.
All I knew was that she wanted to go on a walk with me or something like that.

"CLAUDIA LET'S GO I'M GONNA LEAVE WITHOUT YOU" rue yelled to me. "OK GIVE ME LIKE A MINUTE MY HAIR ONLY HAS LIKE ONE STRAND LEFT" I was straightening my hair of course.

It's not like my hair was as curly as rue mine was more of a wavy type, but I straightened it about every day. It's the only way I'll feel pretty.

That's when rue just busted up the door then dragged me out.

"Where are we going?" I looked at her after she pulled me out of the structure that we call a house. "Gas station?" I've never been to it as crazy as that sounds but as we walked there I saw a red head.

"HEY FEZZ '' rue ran up to him, I just assumed she was his friend or whatever.

"So how long you been back" he exhaled his smoke, it was a cigarette
"5 days," rue said this was true, I think I don't really know.
"Hey there is some new girl in town that I think you gonna be friends with" he inhaled against.

"Who" rue looked curious as she said this
"Shit I don't know she came in yesterday looking at all the sailor moon and shit, I'm thinking to myself, look like somebody rue would get along with" fez just smiled and laughed.

I just walked away. I don't think the guy even noticed me. The gas station looks fine to go into and to be honest, I want water, it is so hot out.
"HEY, who the fuck are you" a kid came out of the... Freezers?
"Oh, I'm rue's little sister."