Tainted

CHAPTER: 08

My head hurts.
My eyes hurt.
My back hurts and I want this Earth to split open and take me in.
I feel like a shit now.

Till the morning, I was feeling really okay. Until, I reached home and the realization hits me, I have lost my virginity. The tears streamed down my face. I sit down and then choke, I felt paralyzed. I covered my head with my hands, hiding in the crook of my arm. fall to my knees sitting on my haunches, I weep a d cry with a bowed head. I clutch at their hair and yank at it. Rocking from side to side. I sobbed, I sobbed loudly without holding back.

I missed him. Today. I miss him all the time. I like to stay by his side. I feel so unsafe around everyone.

My alarm going on and off, I dismiss it. I get up walking to bathroom for a warm bath. I still had sometime before classes start, I decided to take a long bath.

After shower.
I did my morning routine slowly and covered my entire body, because I had hickeys on my chest and neck wearing make-up to cover it seems to lame.
I wear a high-neck, baggy jeans. I look at myself in the mirror. My eyes droops on my curves. Man hate my curves, why do I have such a curvy body. I look for a denim jacket to hide my curves.
Narae lips were turned downward. She didn't wanted to go out today. As soon as the idea came in her mind somebody texted her.

//text message//

Unknown:

Hi!
Soobin this side.
Do u want to discuss about
project work?

Narae:
Hi!
yeah, I will discuss

Soobin:
Okay then meet me at the
library after all your classes.

Narae:
Okay:)

//text message ended//

I place the phone on the table, holding my head a deep sigh escaping my lips. I look at the clock pick my bag and left the home.

I walk down the hallway. I had this rotten expression on my face. I don't care. I see Soobin leaning on the wall being a huge fur ball, he was wearing a furry sweater, a beret and glasses. He looks up as if sensing my presence from faraway. I try to smile but my head hurts so I knew it looked forced.

I walk towards him.

"Were you waiting for long? Was I late?" I ask looking at my clock. He shakes his head.

"No. In fact, I came early," He answers. I glance at him sighing, he was already looking at me. I wish I could see his eyes, I wonder what they look like behind those thick glasses. I could make out what expression he was making.

"Are you sick? Your eyes look tired." He asks as we step inside.
"Yeah, I-" I break off calculating the answers that can satisfy his curiosity.
"I was watching a sad movie last night, I didn't get a ounce of sleep and and..."
"Oh, I see." He answers. I didn't even complete my sentence. I sigh again.
"There's a seat empty," He points and quickly takes long steps. He pulls out a chair for me, I smile. Such a gentleman. Unlike that Soule. No matter, how many times I begged him to slow down because of the rollercoaster of emotions I was feeling. He didn't, he didn't care. I won't say I didn't enjoy it. It was very pleasurable. And- I don't know how am I suppose to express it.
Sigh, what do I expect from a fuckboy?
I think parties are just unlucky, I should avoid them at all cost now.

"Thanks Soobin,"
"Its alright, Atleast I can do this for you." He says, I could get hint of shyness in his tone.
I blush sitting on the chair slightly groaning from lower back pain.
"You're really nice," I said and he looks up his lips curling into a smile. He looked like a bunny.
"Uh, thanks," He whispers. My mood got a lot better, by the kind gesture.

Meanwhile...

Soobin looks at Narae with sympathy. Girl was so clueless. He bet, she wouldn't expect he is Soule. Narae looks up from textbook raising her eyebrows, she force a smile. Soobin couldn't help but look at her tired puffy face, swollen eyes. He sighs bititng his lips. He adjusted his glasses. I hope we don't meet like that again, cause I'm a monster.

Soobin noticed her.
She was genrally a attentive person but today the number of times she zoned out.
Is it mood swing?
Why am I so concerned here?

"Do I not have anything to do? You are almost doing everything?" I ask.

"See if there is anything you're comfortable with doing?" He says handing me the paper. I look at the paper.
"Should I make the presentation and half of the research, its too much to do it alone,"
"

Okay if you want to." Soobin shurgs saying coldly, packing his things. He presses his lips in a thin line causing his dimples appear on his cheeks.

Why is he suddenly talking like this? This is why they say not to be nice to someone. I roll my eyes, looking outside the window.
"Okay," I answer. He gets up.
"I'm leaving early then," He said and gets away. I stare at his figure disappearing in the shelves. I look out of the big window. The tears fills up my eyes, I once again cover my face. Crying again.