Kurt's POV
Sun rays pierced through the bland hotel room window. Strobes of warmth embraced my aching body to the point where I almost only felt nauseous. I nearly felt as normal as a human ever possibly could. A dark cloud drifted by and I opened my eyes in hope that it was merely passing but it lingered. My room was now dull and dingy and my exquisite pain returned with full magnitude, pressing the life I had left in me.
I cradled my stomach and my head began to swirl not only from the intense headache that had taken hold of me but a whirlpool of emotions circulated also with as much striking pain.
Somewhere deep in the depths of the hotel bar, Dave and Krist were enjoying a beer or two whilst I had no choice but to confide myself into this lonesome space. I wanted to be with them. I wanted to laugh and be care free. I wanted to enjoy the success of our album. We worked so fucking hard and we actually had so much fun and I've bonded more than I ever could imagine with Dave. Believing that someone like Dave could enjoy my company is difficult as he is completely different to me. Where I am quiet and brooding or so I am told, he is outgoing and totally crazy. We get along though. Judgement doesn't seem to exist in the world of Dave. He takes each day as it comes. Krist doesn't seem to give a fuck about anything. I know he has his own problems. I wish I could support him. We have had our ups and downs which I am sure will continue but he has always stuck by me and I will forever be grateful to him for that.
Unfortunately I am stricken with paralysing pain and sickness. Whatever I want to do no matter how simple or extravagant, I am bounded by myself in a shroud of misery which is only opened when inspiration for music takes over and luckily that is quite often.
It's been over a year since I first met Dave. He also has the ability to lift the dark shroud that surrounds me but he never leaves it off. He gives me hope only to banish whatever hope there was and through no fault of his own.
Dave is like a brother to me or so I thought but I guess if I am being honest it's deeper and darker than that. I have uncontrollable feelings for him that feel so natural to me but also adds heartache to my world. I could never tell him any of this. I know he wouldn't hold it against me but he just isn't gay. He is forever with girls and I get so jealous. He gives me so much attention but in a caring way which I need but I want more!
Dave's POV
What a fucking year! I seriously had no idea what was ahead of us. This much success is too much to take in at the moment. I may not take drugs anymore but I'm heading down the road of becoming an alcoholic I am sure.
It's the only way I can handle all of this.
I seemed to have lost Krist who was here just a minute ago. He is just so vague these days and he drinks way more than I do. Something is bothering him but he's not the kind of guy who opens up easily.
I finished my beer and began heading towards the elevator. I wasn't tired and I wanted to check out a club but Kurt had been ill in his room all day. I just felt I needed to check on him and see if there was anything he needed.
Kurt's health has been deteriorating this year. I know he's seen a view consultants but no one has come up with an answer. He's always been quiet but he gets down so quickly which is totally understandable given the present circumstances. He has so much pressure and everything else to deal with. I used to think his main worry was that he felt like a sell out. He wanted to be successful but he didn't want to be treated as a god and constantly harassed by the media. Krist and I never say anything but we try and relieve that pressure in interviews for example but they are obsessed and mystified with Kurt who looks like he's being suffocated by it all.
There is only so much anyone can do and I will do whatever I can to help. I just want Kurt to be happy and healthy.
I knocked on Kurt's door. There was no answer and I couldn't hear a thing from the other side. I knocked harder the second time and called his name.
Kurt's POV
I'd had enough of clutching myself at the end of the bed and had returned to the comfort of the bed sheets where I curled up into a fetal position. The only way I could deal with the pain.
I heard a knock at the door. I couldn't move and nor did I want to. I chose to detach myself from anything at that point. That was until I heard Dave's voice from behind the door.
All at once my eyes pinged open and my heart started to beat erratically. I didn't have the strength to respond with my voice but I somehow managed to stumble to the door.
Once the door opened I was greeted with the sight of Dave. He was leaning on the opposite wall. No words were exchanged but I moved back allowing Dave to silently stroll into my room.
The scent of alcohol drifted past just as he did. When I shut the door my pain had subsided and changed to excitement.
Turning around I found Dave had casually collapsed onto the bed, covering his eyes with his forearms as he muttered "I've drank way too much".
I didn't respond instead I laid back on the bed myself and just stared at the ceiling trying to figure out what the hell I was feeling and what I were to do.
We layed there in silence which felt like hours but was only in fact a couple of minutes. I still found myself staring into nothingness even when Dave finally began to move.
"How are you feeling? " he asked softly. I shut my eyes. I felt strange and answered,
"Fucking fantastic! I'm feeling great". I don't know where the energy came from within me to respond with such dramatic unadulterated sarcasm but luckily for me Dave didn't take offence.
"I'm glad" he said whilst playing along.
I turned my head to look at Dave. I found him looking at me. I knew by the look in his eyes that he was concerned and I spoke back with similar eye contact. This visual conversation broke with Daves cheeky wink which he added a big huge grin to. I couldn't help but look away and release a boyish chuckle.
Dave's POV
I could tell that Kurt had no energy. His pain was painted all over him and he was never the type to conceal anything either.
I loved the fact I managed to make him laugh. I knew he never got bored of me goofing around.
I wanted to embrace him. He was so fragile to me. I didn't want to make us both feel uncomfortable however I wanted to find a way to let him know that I was there for him but I couldn't find the right words to express this to him.
His eyes sparkled like sapphires. I felt chills as he looked at me. This whole situation was beginning to feel fucking awkward yet I couldn't leave. We just kept staring at each other until Kurt reached towards my hair and gently started to play with it almost like it was comforting for him.
We were both gazing down at my fucking hair being played with by my friend in his fucking bed. What the fuck is happening!
I do not know what urged me to take Kurt's frail wrist into my hand but as I did his hand froze. I managed to look at him and he was looking down but I could still see a hint of sparkling blue from beneath his eyelids.
Crimson tinged walls surrounded us as the sun set. The room was getting darker and so were my thoughts. I was feeling pure stimulation from the inside out. A blur of movements were exchanged between us until our lips were touching each other. We were both taking deep breaths. The tips of our noses gently touched. It was obvious we both wanted the same thing here but who was going to break first?
Kurt's POV
A fire was blazing within me. I haven't felt so exhilarated since....never. I felt alive.
We gazed seductively into each others eyes. Like black orbs stabbing through me, Dave's eyes smouldered my own. He lowered his lids and I mirrored the action until we were both looking at each others mouths. Millimeter by millimeter we were getting closer to what could only be described as the climax which I wanted so fucking bad but I didn't want this to end.
Dave pressed harder against my lips and he finally put his tongue to mine. Passion had no boundaries. Deep breaths and groans of joy. Was I dreaming? I didn't want to wake up but then he put his hands through my hair and yanked as he pulled his body closer to mine. My scalp throbbed but the pain was welcomed. I knew I wasn't dreaming after all.
