3 Killers Love

Raccoons are Peak Life Goals

Even with the world as terrible as it is, Toby is just glad Queen Fluffbutt the Third, the raccoon, will never accuse him of being a freak. Instead she just accepts the peanuts given to her by the ticing boy and hisses at anything else around them. Ah, to be a simple racoon with no purpose other than sleeping, getting fat, and being borderline rabid. That is peak life goals right there.

'Too bad I was not born a raccoon.' Toby thought to himself as he watched her Highness get into a fight with a nearby raccoon. 'Though I'm pretty sure Masky and Hoody already think I am one.'

It's true that in his first year at the mansion he was hard to get along with due to his excessive amount of energy. At first only Sally could seem to tolerate his energy, though probably because the 8 year old girl was the only one who could match it. So he had taken a liking to the local raccoon population. It took time, but he was eventually able to earn their trust. By then the others in the House had learned to deal with his hyperness.

Queen Fluffbutt had chased off the other raccoon and claimed the peanuts Toby had brought as her prize. She greedily chewed away at them while sitting in the twitching boy's lap. Toby had removed his goggles so he could look at her without the orange colored tint. He petted her fluffy fur from which she was named, a content smile on his exposed face. This was the closest to a pet he could get, and even then he was given shit for befriending the wild animal. Particularly by-

"Damn it, Toby! Are you petting that raccoon again?!?" A male voice scolded, irritated at finding the younger with the raccoons again. Said raccoon grabbed the rest of the bag in her mouth and scampered off into the trees, hissing all the way.

"Aww." Toby pouted, turning around to face the other proxy. Standing behind him with his hands crossed was Masky and right behind him was Hoodie. "W-why do you al-always scare them o-off? W-w-we were cu-cuddling."

"Toby, for the last time, that is a disgusting, wild, disease ridden, quite possibly rabid animal." Masky sighed heavily as he explained. "You're not supposed to 'cuddle' them at all. What if it bites you?"

"So what? I-I can't feel i-it." Toby shrugged as he stood up.

"That's not the point, Toby." Masky argued, frustrated with the repeating conversation.

"I think it's kind of cute." Hoodie commented.

"See, Hoodie gets it." Toby smiled, pointing at the hooded man.

Masky looked at his boyfriend, facial expression unreadable due to the mask. Hoodie just shrugged his shoulders back at him. Masky sighed again in frustration and turned back to the ticking boy. "Stop patting the raccoons before you get rabies."

"Awww." Toby cooed, bouncing to the tips of their toes to bring his face closer to the taller man's face, a big grin on his face. "I-if you keep this up the others are going t-to th-think you actually care about me." He giggled as he rocked back on his feet. Off to the side Hoodie chuckled like mad to himself.

"Shut it, Rodgers!" Masky huffed angrily, crossing his arms more tightly. "We have a mission. That's why we're out here."

"Oh?" Toby tilted his head, deep brown eyes widening in curiosity. Hoodie coughed, saying something under his breath causing Masky to jab him in the ribs. Toby looked at him curiously, but paid it no more attention.

He always enjoyed going on missions, especially with his two fellow proxies. It always sent a thrill through him to go on the hunt with them. Whether it ends with him splitting his victims head open with or seeing Masky bash their head in with his crowbar and powerful muscles or watching Hoodie carefully line up his scope with his victim. It was like watching powerful predators hunting their prey before going in for the kill. In fact, the analogy wasn't too far off the mark. They were dangerous predators on the hunt.