Persona F

Tomomi joins the Sovereign Heroes

5/26/2020

            The next day, Hiro has awoken and so does Kaoru. His phone then rings out to him. "Hello?" Hiro replies. "Yo! Hiro! Great news! Tomomi's family called me! They said Tomomi-chan will be okay! She'll be up in a few days!" Rikiya says. "That's good to hear. Have you been giving her the assignments like I told ya to?" Hiro asks. "Yep! And I've been tutoring her too!" Rikiya replies. "We positive it ain't you that's getting tutored?" Hiro asks to which Rikiya does a nervous chuckle. "Well, whatever, you should get to Ai and fill her in. We may possibly have a new member of the Sovereign Heroes." Hiro says. "You got it!" Rikiya replies before he hangs up.

            Later on, after school, Hiro heads home before he notices a poster, one that is hosting a newly released comedy club. "Looks interesting. I'll have a look." Hiro says to himself.

            Hiro picks up Kaoru from his school and heads to the comedy club. Once he enters, he and Kaoru see a white haired woman with hair at a neck length, wearing her uniform and a very small star necklace. "I dont know. I know you told me. But I have had a very long day. I am very small. And I have no money. So you can imagine the kind of stress that I am under." The woman says up on stage, but nobody is really laughing, not that there is anyone to actually laugh at her jokes as there is about three people, excluding the comedian and Hiro. He can see her panicking a little bit before continuing. "Or if its one of those true or false questions, you should be able to add a third option which is, 'Who's to say?" This results to a deafening silence. "Are you done, Fujino? Because if we are gonna do comedy, you gotta give us something good! That was clearly stolen from John Mulaney!" A member boos. The club members then get up to leave the room, one of which notices Hiro. "Word of advice, bud, get out while you can." The member says before leaving. "Guys! Come on! Please!" The woman begs. Hiro and Kap look at one another before turning to the woman. "H-hi there! Would you like to join my comedy club?" She asks with some optimism but both the high schooler and the child know damn well that this is just desperation. "I-" "I'm sure you will love it!" She interrupts before she grabs his hand and drags him inside and putting him on a chair. "I think you will enjoy my skits, I could really use some help here! By the way, I'm Matsuoka Fujino!" She greets. "Now, here is a skit of mine!" She says with a ton of enthusiasm. Kaoru grabs a chair and sits next to Hiro, both of which are looking at one another with a lack of hope. Matsuoka clears her throat.

            "I went to college. For the whole time. Holy shit, right? I just got a letter from my college, which was fun cause mail, you know? So I open up the letter and they said, 'Hey, Matsuoka, its college. You remember?' I say, 'Yes, of course.' And they said, how did they phrase it? They said, 'Give us some money! As a gift! We want a gift! But only if its money.' Matsuoka says. Kaoru does a laugh but Hiro doesn't, this gives her a glimmer of hope in her eyes. "I found this peculiar. You see, what had happened, New York, was that when I was a student, I had paid them tuition money. Every semester, two semesters a year, for four years. I don't remember exactly what it was, but rounding up, back in 1999 dollars, it was about $15,000 a semester, two semesters a year, for four years. So it was about $30,000 a year for four years. So it was about $120,000, okay? So roughly speaking, I gave my college about $120,000. Okay, so you might say that I already gave them $120,000 and now you have the audacity to ask me for more money. What kind of a cokehead relative What kind of a cokehead relative is my college? You spent it already? I gave you more money than the American Civil War cost and you fucking spent it already? Where's my money? I felt like Jimmy Stewart in Its a Wonderful Life when hes screaming at his uncle Billy." She then imitates Jimmy Stewart from the aforementioned movie. "'Where's the money? Where's that money, you fat motherfucker? Where's my money? Stay down on the ground, you motherfucker!' That's not the dialogue. But do you remember that scene from It's a Wonderful Life? Great movie, Frank Capra, 1946." Matsuoka says. Kaoru laughs again and before she can continue, Hiro had to stop her. "Stop! Stop! Just stop right the hell there." Hiro says before he stands up. "Huh? Was it not good?" "Listen, Fujino, lemme ask you something. Who is your favorite comedian?" Hiro asks. "John Mulaney?" "Bingo! And that much is so damn obvious. How do I know? Because it's exactly from his shit." Hiro says. "You need a ton of work for your shit. All you got is stolen jokes. American stolen jokes. In Asia. You ain't John Mulaney, you're Amy Schumer." Hiro says. "A lot of western references today." Kaoru mutters. "Look, ya just need some new ideals, some new schticks. You can't rely on others for your success." Hiro says. "But it's what gets people to laugh." Matsuoka argues. "Ya only got my little bro to laugh, it ain't really an accomplishment because he hasn't heard of John Mulaney." Hiro retaliates. "Look, what ya need is some help, and I'll help your ass with it." Hiro says. "All right! I look forward to your teachings, sensei!" "Please don't call me that. Call me Hirozaku Chiba. Or Hiro." Hiro has made a vow to help Matsuoka Fujino with her comedy career. Suddenly, time stops and Hiro hears a voice.