TOO YOUNG TO BE SO SAD(ECCEDENTESIAST)

TWO

"Good morning, everyone. I'm Victor Harrison, your new homeroom teacher. I'm thrilled to have such an exceptional group of top-ranking students in my class. I hope we'll build a strong connection, and I assure you that I'm here to address any concerns you might have. This stage in your education is pivotal, filled with challenges that will come and go. Stay resilient, keep your focus on excelling as students, and reaching your preferred colleges." His words were delivered with warmth and genuine care.

"As part of today's assignment, I'd like each of you to compose an essay about your future careers and where you envision yourselves five years from now. Understand?"

"Yes, sir!" our chorus of voices responded, accompanied by applause. But the future? I'd never really contemplated that, not that I have much of one to look forward to, or that I'll even be around to shape it.

I rested my head on my desk, my thoughts wandering, unsure of what to write. Fabrication wasn't my style, nor did I want to attract attention from the teacher for leaving my page blank.

The truth is, I have no clear aspirations. I'm already deep into a life of crime, amassing wealth that most top-ranking kids have never seen. The future holds little relevance for me; I have nothing substantial to offer it. If life had dealt me a fair hand, maybe I'd have time to dream, but that wasn't my reality. My dreams were of succumbing to death, where my struggles and drug use would finally end. A day when my inner demons and substance abuse would overcome me. It's not as though I had positive role models to guide me; my upbringing was a landscape of adversity and people I never wished to resemble. Every day was a battle, and I fractured repeatedly. So, what does that say about me, aside from the fact that I've survived many wars?

And here I am, once again, overwhelmed by sadness.

. I kept my head lowered until school was over. Skipping lunch was a norm, and it went unnoticed. After submitting my assignment, I pulled up my hoodie and left for what I truly considered my job - dealing drugs. While other kids might head home, rest, and enjoy the nurturing routine of family life, my path was different. I aspired to provide my sister with the life I never had - one of innocence and fulfillment. A life where she believed our mom passed away a couple of months after her birth, where she assumed our dad held a respectable job and gave her pocket money each morning. The life where she saw me as a part-time tutor earning handsomely, where she had more than her peers, and where our family issues remained concealed.

I aimed to give her a life of laughter, friendship, and school trips. A life where she didn't witness our father's anger or my bruises. A life where she didn't discover that our future dangled by a thread, where our father's façade of love for her concealed his darker intentions. My desire was to provide her with everything I had lacked, to ensure she always wore a genuine smile.

Watching her grow and asking me endless questions was my greatest joy. From her childhood to her teenage years, when she grew more self-conscious, I feared the day she might uncover our reality. That age, when she felt embarrassed by me, her elder sister, and asked me to act invisible at school. I complied, for if I dressed like her, my scars would be exposed. She was beautiful still.

Her text arrived: "Be home in 10." I wrapped up my work and headed home to prepare a simple and healthy meal, her preference.

"Little hi, Little lo," she exclaimed, tossing her shoes aside.

"Little hey, Little ho," I responded, our unique greeting derived from the movie 'Stuart Little,' an indicator of how our day went and that dinner was ready.

Her hug and peck were customary. "How was your day?" I asked, anticipating her stories of pranks and adventures with friends.

"Ugh, you won't believe it. They set an actual rule for a fourteen-year-old. It's crazy how parents just don't get our generation. We can handle things ourselves, you know? They need to realize that. And now, on top of him leaving the top rank class, this..." she began, venting about a classmate grounded for an 'F' in a course. Her privileges were revoked, including access to her phone, laptop, TV, and friends. She had a private tutor and was expelled from the academy.

"It's insane that she can't even watch TV or use social media," she remarked, taking a bite of salad, her words muffled. I offered her water, soothing her as she drank.

"Eat slowly, you don't want to choke," I advised, returning to clear the table.

"You're not saying anything. I know you're not the talkative type, but try sometimes. Then I'll know I don't have a mute elder sister," she teased, giving me an eerie grin. It wasn't funny at all.

I cleared my throat and she leaned in, attentive. "You can't entirely blame the parents. They're likely aiming to provide their child with the best education and opportunities. If they allowed her behavior to continue unchecked, she might end up spoiled and undisciplined. No parent wants that for their child. It would hurt them to see their child stray from the path they envisioned and not grow into the responsible adult they hoped for. So, I'd say her punishment is justified," I explained. Her impressed look made me feel like a mom witnessing her child's first steps, not quite the reaction I expected. I raised an eyebrow, and she burst into laughter.

"Fair point. But does Dad ever show concern about our grades or school life? I remember him telling us not to bother him with school problems. He just gives us money and sends us away. That's why I said we don't necessarily need parents to live. Maybe it's because I don't really need a dad, but I do need a mom instead. Don't worry, I'm not desperate, because I already have one... YOU," she said, nearly bringing tears to my eyes with her touching words. She's such a sweet little peach.

"You do have a dad, and he cares a lot about us. Remember, he renovated the house because you asked, and he ensures we have a comfortable life," I replied. She smiled, got up, and said, "Sis, a comfortable life without a dad who's never home doesn't mean much. Look at the time; he's still out in the cold street doing who knows what. See you upstairs." I watched her dash up the stairs.

"I hope you never find out," I whispered under my breath. Finishing up the household tasks, I rearranged everything to ensure there was no trace of my dad's presence before heading upstairs to put her to bed.

As I watched her drift into deep sleep, I tenderly stroked her blonde hair. "I hope you're never in pain. Please stay happy for me. I love you," I whispered, giving her a gentle goodnight kiss. Closing her door softly so as not to disturb her, I left her room and the house, determined to complete my sales before 3 am, when my dad usually returned home..