TOO YOUNG TO BE SO SAD(ECCEDENTESIAST)

ELEVEN

"I love your sister," he confessed, his hands in his pockets, grinning from ear to ear like an excited child. "She's charming."

"George," I called out, and he raised a questioning brow.

"I understand that you care for me and all that," I began, choosing my words carefully, "but I'm truly sorry to have to say this. I think it's best for both of us if we go our separate ways. There are scars and darkness within me that I'm not ready to share or burden you with. I need to work on healing and finding my own light, and I don't want to involve you in this journey. While I entertained the hope of happiness with you, I've been foolish to forget where I came from. This marks the end for us," I concluded with a heavy heart.

"Are you breaking up with me?" he asked, his tone filled with disbelief. Did he think I was making a joke out of this? I shrugged and began to walk away, but he grabbed my arm and tried to check my temperature, attempting to lift my hoodie. I swatted his hands away, irritated.

"What the hell do you think you're doing?" I snapped at him.

"You look pale, it's clear you're sick. What are you hiding?" he persisted.

I couldn't believe what I was hearing, but then he said something that made me freeze in my tracks.

"Your dad hits you, doesn't he?"

I turned to face him, trying to understand where this sudden insight had come from.

"How long were you going to hide it from? Hiding it behind smiles? Pretending that you're okay? For what reason do you choose to hurt yourself for the sake of someone else's happiness, and what do you gain from it?" he demanded, his face reddening with anger.

"Don't say what you don't know!" I retorted.

"No, Crystal," he continued, his tone determined. "You're in pain, and all you do is push me away. Do you think Izzy doesn't know?"

"She doesn't," I replied hastily.

"She does! You dumbass. She knows everything. That little girl knows every bit down to you being an addict. She does. She hides it to make you happy. She hides it for her so-called big sister to feel at ease. She heard every night when you wince in pain, when you cry over pains, when you scream. She hears them all! Have you ever thought of putting yourself first before others?" he yelled vehemently.

"It's my family business," I protested.

"Damn family business! You are dying slowly. Don't tell me you still think he will change?" he said, his words hitting me hard.

I swallowed hard, feeling a lump in my throat. "Jesus Christ! Crystal! Wake up, you dummy! Just like the first day we met, I can see you are sure you can change him, but I know you won't! He's ruthless, he's abusive, why is it so hard to let go?"

"He's my father!" I yelled back.

"You wouldn't know that because you don't know what it is to have a father. It was my fault the vacation was for his company, and all I needed to do was smile, but I didn't. The company followed us around, and he lost his job. It was all my fault. He urged me severally, but I did nothing. I could laugh all day as much as he wants. I'd do it over and over again to avoid being called a 'burden.' Do you get me?" I said, tears streaming down my cheeks.

"You will laugh again and again? Are you an eccedentiast or a joker?" he asked. I laughed out loudly and crazily.

"Yes, I am George. So please let me be."