Hooked

Chapter Thirty-Eight

... Hook ...

I remember the exhilarating freedom I felt as I was in battle with the Red Queen's pitiful army. My curse enjoyed every moment -- I enjoyed every moment. I found that my curse was no longer a different side of me. I didn't know the difference between James - the man I was before - and Killian - the monster that I suppressed for so long.

I started appreciating the red stains on my hook, touching the spots gently with my hand. I scoffed as I took off the hook and tossed it on the table, next to my map.

Somewhere in the middle of the battle Rider managed to slip away. He seemed to be good at running away from situations he didn't want to handle.

If I ever saw him again, he would pay dearly for his cowardice.

Frustration brewed inside of me as I discarded the sudden, hateful thought. I was not who I once was. I was a stranger to myself. I was heading down a slippery slope.

I was startled by a knock on my door, and snapped at the crew member as he entered without a second thought. "What makes you think you are welcome to enter my quarters?" I spat.

His breath hitched in his throat, but he tried to remain calm under my wrath. "My apologies, but I thought you'd be interested to know that I found Madeline-"

I paused at her name. Something inside me lifted, and a hint of relief was evident in my voice as I said, "How did you find her?"

"She was crying over Smee... He was dead, Captain."

I ignored the pang of sadness that came with the news. Smee was my most loyal crew member. I knew him since he was a young boy... But I didn't have time to mourn. I needed to see Madeline with my own eyes, before she decided to run away again.

"She's here, on the Jolly Roger, then?" I said, the joy inside me fighting against my curse.

He nodded silently, a small smile on his face. The whole crew knew that Madeline could break my curse.

I walked calmly past him, wondering what she would think of being back on the ship. I wondered if she would still be frightened of me.

I knew she would be in her usual living quarters. I knocked on her door with my hand. Embarrassment flooded my mind as I remembered that I left my hook on the table in my quarters. She would see my pitiful... stub. I quickly hid it behind my back as she opened the door.

Her eyes were filled with tears, her face blotched and pale. There was a millisecond of shock on her features when she saw me, but then an evident anger flashed behind her eyes.

She wiped away any evidence of crying from her face. "Why are you here?"

I tried my hardest not to smirk at her comment. "It's my ship, love."

She was taken aback by something I said. She rolled her eyes, "I mean why are you at my door? Why can't you just leave me alone?" She started to raise her voice.

My curse started to take interest in the conversation as a possibility of an argument arose.

"There's no need to yell," I said in a hushed tone, trying my hardest to calm both her and my curse down.

"... I can't just forgive you for everything you've done, Hook. Your first wrong-doing was when you kidnapped me from my home. Everything from then on was only adding onto your list of wrongs... Why did you kidnap me, anyway?"

She deserved to know the truth. I didn't know how to start, though. If I told her it would only add onto my "list of wrongs". I sighed deeply. "It... it's a long story, Madeline..." I said. As soon as I let those words escape my mouth, regret sank deep into my gut.

She nodded in disappointment, tears forming in her eyes again, her mouth a thin line. She began to shut the door.

I panicked and used my arm to stop the door from closing. My face flushed red as I realized that I used the arm that I hid behind my back before. I backed away from the door. Madeline started to look at her feet as a silence grew between us.

"I'm... Er..." I didn't know what to say. I felt so insecure at the moment. I was used to having my hook. In some way, it gave me confidence in moments like these. "I just... don't want to mess up." I finally said. "I feel like I have to always be careful around you, Madeline. And trust me, you're not the only one who's confused about what's going on between us..." She seemed to raise her eyebrow in question. I continued, "You can break my curse. I can finally be free from the chains that have been holding me back from being myself."

She looked at me thoughtfully, before replying with a "I have to have time to think, Hook. I need some time alone. I'm still not used to Neverland, and everything seems to be thrown at me all at once."

I nodded and started to back away.

Before I left she added, "And you don't need to be embarrassed... about your hand, I mean."

"I'm not embarrassed by the fact that I don't have a left hand. I've learned to live with that. I'm embarrassed by the fact that you saw me without my hook," I gave a small smile.

"Don't be." With that, she gently closed the door.

I grinned, thinking of the possibility of regaining Madeline's trust. I still had a chance at happiness.

... Madeline ...

I leaned against the closed door, my head in my hands. I just wanted to get back to England. I missed the normalcy of waking up in the safety of my home, with my family.

I no longer wanted to be with Hook. It broke my heart to see him with such hope in his eyes - the hope that I would break his curse. I needed to go back home.

His timing always seems awful. Here I was, in my living quarters, where I thought I would be left alone, mourning over the loss of my dear friend, when Hook happily knocked on my door. Did he not feel any sorrow over Smee?

I sat on the end of my bed, thinking things over. How does someone 'break a curse', anyway? Am I supposed to know when I am able to? A lot has been put on my shoulders. I don't think Hook realized just how troubled I already was, before he told me I could break his curse.

Why can't anyone else break his curse? Why me? Surely he could find someone else.

I decided that I would ask him these questions later on. I hoped that he would take me back to England, if I ended up breaking his curse or not.

Surely he would return me to England... I thought of all the ways that my encounter with him later on could go wrong.

I groaned, face-planting into a pillow. Why is this such a hard thing for me to do?

...

Hope you guys enjoyed this chapter! (Sorry it's short again...)
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~ StarrySkies7