Saving Valerie | Jasper Hale x OC

Prologue: What is and What Can Never Be

The rain was pouring down in sheets—under any other circumstances it would have chilled me to the bone but as I stood there all I could feel was the distant touch of drops on my skin. The sun didn't even have the decency to show up for us today, hiding behind in the clouds in the same way I now hid atop this hill. I hadn't imagined what this day would look like in detail, but I always thought the sun would be shining bright in the sky as people gathered to say goodbye. All of us would be standing together under the rays, smiling sadly at the memories as the life of a person was reduced to just that: memories.

Teenagers don't often think about life after death. Why should they? Teenage hearts feel everything in full—emotions weigh them down and lift them up more than any adult. Teenagers fall in love harder, faster, but also break down with as much speed. An off comment made by an acquaintance is enough to send some adolescents into a spiraling fit of fear and anxiety, much less the question of what happens when a person dies. The inevitability of being reduced to absolutely nothing would be enough for any teenager to curl up in a ball and never leave the house again.

Yet, in that moment I stood on a hill watching a funeral from a distance—a funeral I'd imagined for months. In my visions, I was always in attendance, there amongst the crowd of people clinging to each other for support. The least I could do now was clear the distance and pay my respects to the person who died; I had to say goodbye lest the questions weigh me down far after the casket was laid into the ground. Where would they go now? Is there judgement for the way that person lived their life, or can they be forgiven in time?

I used to believe everyone was given a second chance. Everyone had a chance to make up for their sins by being grateful for the life they'd been allowed to live. I couldn't imagine not being forgiven for the sins of life for eternity. After all, forever is a long time.