If we had five more minutes

hurts so good

TW// SH & SU/C/DE THOUGHTS

Jolts of anger rush through Wilhelms head as he runs to his room. Once he enters the tall door of his room, tears start flooding down his face causing his eyesight to completely blur. He went through his room circling to find something, anything, he needed to calm down but he couldn't. The thought of never being with Simon again was enough to make him want to give up on everything. As he was crying he felt that he wanted to scream but couldn't, he couldn't be too loud if he wanted to disappear right?

Well you should be thankful you are still part of this family and next in line for the throne. I still can't get over the fact that you slept with that boy, and the lowest class as well.

His mothers words stung as he went into his washroom to grab a blade from his razor. He didn't need the sad music at full volume through his headphones, his parents words were enough to make him enter this state of pure self hatred.

His washroom was a simple two sink bathroom, with a white marble bath, glass door shower, toilet, and cabinets of storage. He always had stuff in the cabinets, he is the prince right. As he reached his shaking hands into a cabinet without paying attention the razor blade had already made a sharp cut against his hand. He let out a slight scream from the shock but oddly it didn't hurt like it normally would. It felt good, god it felt amazing. He picked it up as his blood sizzled, some falling onto the ground.

One cut after the next, and god every cut felt even better. He was finally giving himself what he deserved for hurting Simon, the failure of a son he was, the failure of a prince he was, the failure of a brother he was. It for sure still hurt, every cut did, but the pain was good, it was needed.

Once he calmed down from his state, which was hours later, it was now almost 23:00. As he looked at his wrist where most of the damage was he couldn't help but feel a sense of accomplishment, he had finally given himself what he had deserved, or at least what he thought he had deserved. He might have not cut as deep, or as much if he only knew Simon was sitting in his bed back in Bjärstad and feeling absolutely guilty for how he ended things with Wilhelm.

Pain was a word that couldn't even be used to describe the way Simon felt. It was almost as if someone had murdered all his loved ones and he was the only one left in the world. Of course he still had his Mama, and Sara, but after everything he didn't want to speak with either of them.

"Simme dinner is ready cariño!" His Mama shouted from the kitchen.

As he walked into the kitchen, he noticed his mother was extra happy holding a grey envelope, and once they settled down and started eating he became even more suspicious of it as she pulled it out.

"Mom why can't we just have a nice dinner without any disruptions??!" Sara says her voice louder than perhaps intended.

"Shh this is something very special for the both of you" Linda says opening the envelope and reading out what it said "Hillerska Boarding School is very happy to present Sara Erikkson and Simon Erikkson as new residents with a fully paid tuition, for the rest of their time at Hillerska!"

"Oh my God yay!!! Finally!!" Sara screams clearly filled with happiness.

"But how?" Simon asks, making Sara's nerves mentally destroy her.

"Um well August actually asked for help with his ADHD and he said that as a thank you he would..well you know..do this." Sara says looking down, causing Simon to audibly gasp.

"Sara..Did you give him your meds?!!!" He says clearly forgetting that Linda was right there, listening as they spoke.

"¡Simon! ¡Cómo podrías acusar a tu hermana de algo tan oscuro!" Linda screams clearly upset at how her son could even think about something like that.

"Mamá no entiendes que no lo quise decir así yo-"

"No, ve a tu habitación ahora mismo."

Simon sits up and starts walking to his room with a mix of anger and confusion, as he got up to leave Sara was looking down to the floor clearly distressed and hiding something darker than what was said.

//wc 750

I'm hoping everyone is enjoying the story so far, but this story does touch on some really serious topics which can be triggering. I will always link resources to the chapters with trigger warnings, I encourage you to get the help that you deserve. All love <33

SH resources:

https://www.cheo.on.ca/en/resources-and-support/self-harm.aspx 

https://ontario.cmha.ca/documents/understanding-and-finding-help-for-self-harm/ 

https://www.helpguide.org/articles/anxiety/cutting-and-self-harm.htm 

https://www.crisistextline.org/topics/self-harm/#what-is-self-harm-1 

https://jedfoundation.org/resource/understanding-self-injury/ 

https://www.crisisservicescanada.ca/en/ 

https://www.nimh.nih.gov/health/topics/suicide-prevention