CURSED: FROM THE BEGINNING [D.M]

-(27) all it reminds her of is him

ZILLIAH's focus from the bustling crowd of excited students is diverted when she feels Draco's presence.

She feels him before she sees him. She always have.

He enters the compartment in the Hogwarts Express where Zilliah was seated alone in a four seater, opposite to another four seater where Blaise, Theo and Pansy had already seated themselves.

His eyes flick onto her in a matter of seconds- studying her. And she finds herself doing the same. She notices the couple inches he has grown in height over the summer and how his jaw has become more tight and defined- how his shoulder has expanded beneath that black suit- how his face has become paler and how his veins have become more protruded in his hands.

It ignites a small fire- no, it cannot be called a fire. It's a mere ember. So faint. So distant. It's a mere dying ember deep within her.

He steps forward, making a move as to take place with her. So she instantly lifts her feet and places it upon the opposite seat.

He halts, silver eyes flicking down onto her legs, mere bones with frail skin attached to them. Her heart recoils with distaste as her own gaze falls upon them. She can't recall the last time she had eaten something.

As she returns her attention back upon him, she finds his gaze lingering, understanding. And his eyes draw back to meet her, a flicker of worry creasing his eyebrows, before he takes a step back and turns to his friends, his facade back on.

It must be relief that washes through her. She is going to assume it is even though it feels far off.

He walks upto them and seats himself on the window seat beside Pansy who turns and glances at Zilliah. She catches the pity in them instantly and focuses her gaze back upon the book in her hand, in revulsion.

She has gotten back into reading. It's about the only improvement she has made all summer. But somehow that's all she feels she deserves.

"How have you been, mate?", Theo's voice rise, lazy and slow.

"Real great", Draco responds with a sarcastic scoff.

His voice. There's this ache in her at hearing his voice after two whole months of having gone without it. It also has gotten deeper, more manly, leaving it's boyish edge, just like his features had developed. She can't decide what she feels about it.

But she does find herself wanting to look up. She does find herself wanting to get into an argument with him just so she could hear his voice again. She does find herself wanting to stare at those muscles she very well knows have grown beneath his suit. She does find herself longing for him despite her anger with him. And her heart recoils in distaste once more as Sirius' image flashes through her mind.

She wills all thoughts of Draco out and focuses onto the pages of Ravished by Amanda Quick.

"Knowing that you love me is not a source of amusement." Sebastian realized that his hands were shaking with the force of the emotion that was pouring through him. "It is my salvation."

Pathetic attempt really, because all it reminds her of is him. Sitting across her. His gaze never leaving her. His silver fixed on her pathetic self. His breaths secretly troubled. His heart aching, just like hers was.

And the longing is back. But she can't give in. Her anger won't allow her to.

She won't let it.

-

There is a smoke that suddenly erupts up in the whole compartment as the train is halfway to Hogwarts.

Her vision goes fuzzy for a minute, before it clears up and her eyes land on Draco by the door of the compartment that was now open. "What the fuck was that?" His voice sounded so on edge.