Oneiric Story | IZ*ONE Book

note

It's not an update and If you don't want to read any further, It's fine.

I just want to share my feelings/thoughts right now. That's the least that could help me release my feelings.

Lately, I've been feeling lonely and everytime I try to find a way to lessen the loneliness. It doesn't work. I know it sounds difficult to understand and It's fine. I don't understand myself either.

I have to be honest, my confidence has dropped abit and I feel insecure at myself. Everytime I see my cousin(he's a guy) He flexes his abs to me and I feel abit you know.. insecure. I know I should love my body and for who i am but, I just can't help it.

Sometimes, I get judge by my people. For what I am wearing, for what I look, for what I act.
It feels irritating that someone says that.

People often mistunderstood me for what I look, say or look.  In person, I look like a cold person but the truth is.. I don't know how to express myself and even though I try. I feel embarass and I don't have the gut to do it.
I only get abit expressive when I get comfortable with people.

Lastly, I have been thinking if I should get rid of people. I know. I just have trust issues. I don't know If I should trust this person.

Speaking of that, Before when It was not yet pandemic and till now. I have a group of friends. When I'm with them, I feel like an outcast. They have their own world and own plans. I don't feel belong to the group.

I always tell myself that I still have few closest friends. That I don't need alot of friends. And honestly, Having few friends is okay with me as long as they are real to me and don't fake on me.

That's all. I hope I can find my path and sense of fashion. Also, I hope that I can gain my confidence and personal growth. I'm going to try this time. Cause lately, I have been sleeping alot and focusing more on my surroundings.

Wish me luck and I hope that I can get back on track on writing stories. It's been awhile and I'm sorry for making you wait. This happens alot. I know.

If you red all of this, Thank you for listening. I appreciate it.

You can comment if you want, would be more wonderful.