Helped

Chapter 2, Pain

"Fuuuuckkkk, Ughhhh my head" I groaned, lightly tapping my busted head, caked with dried blood and bumped over with stitches. I was in a hospital room, and I blinked a few times adjusting to the white light pouring in through the window. Everything suddenly came back to me, the jump, the robot, the stupidity of me banging my head into the wall. Well at least I didn't get yelled at, I thought glumly. I looked over to my right at the small clock on the table. 6:43 PM it read, I guess I've been here a while. "Ugh what day is it?" I wondered aloud. "The fourteenth dear, good morning miss!" a cheerful  pudgy nurse entered my room, startling me with her large voice and bubbly attitude. "Have I really  been here a full day?" I asked, worrying about the anger of madame when I get home and she has to pay hospital bills. "Yes but we are planning on letting you out later today sweetie pie" she replied "Do you know who brought me here?" I asked remembering the golden robot-man who had saved me. "One of the avengers themselves! Iron Man, can you believe it? Oh that Tony Stark.." she trailed off. "I'm sorry miss, but what are the avengers?" She looked at me with a shocked expression on her face "Earth's mightiest heroes?! Wow I'm surprised you've never heard of them, some are aliens and gods and such, crazy things I tell ya." I smiled at her and looked down at my hands as she left. 

 She walked back into the room around 10 minutes later to inform me that my foster parents will pick me up soon. I lifted myself from the bed and put on the hoodie and pants I was wearing before I came, a bit of blood on the hoodie. I walked into the bathroom and washed my head, trying to rub off the caked blood, and make the stitches as non-recognizable as possible. Mr. Rag arrived later and scolded me as soon as we got into the car. "Really Winnie? What is that? The third attempt this year?"  He was getting on my nerves "Yes whatever, who the fuck cares? Can we just go home?"

We arrived at the house and I tried to be as quiet as possible walking in so no one would know that I had gotten home. Creeping into the kitchen to grab something to eat before going to bed I was startled by a voice behind me. "sup shorty?" I spun around to see the oldest girl in the home before she pushed me down on the ground, hard. "Please leave me alone!" I pleaded "I just want to eat and go to sleep, so please just let me be!" she held her hand down to me and helped me up chuckling as she did so. She pulled me up towards her face and said in a low sinister voice, "my ass your eating" she then let go of my wrist and I feel down again. Holding back tears and trying to stand tall I got up and said as calmly as I could, "okay then, I'll just go to bed" 

Limping in pain up the stairs I headed to bed, my knees shuddering under my weight. Wanting to avoid the other girls that I shared a room with a bit longer I walked to the bathroom and began getting ready to take a shower. I turned the handle as far as it could go watching the water steam as it filled the tub, making the bathroom deliciously warm causing some of my tendons to relax, I sank down into the tub with my hair tied up in a bun, and I began to sob. 

Why won't someone save me? The people in movies always end up happy, no more suffering, no more pain, no more evil sisters, and mean bullies. Why can't my life be a fairy tale? With a shining knight in armor ready to save me from the villains?  Why can't I find someone who truly loves me and wants me? Someone who cares for me? Why won't someone give me a chance?! I thought, but my brain provided answers to all my questions.  Because you're not good enough, your not fabulous or cool like a movie star, you don't live in a fairy tale, and no shining knight is gonna want a fat fuck like you, no one loves you because you don't deserve it, no one wants you because you aren't pretty or smart, and no one will give you a chance because you don't deserve one, and you're way to far for one to help. 

I allowed the tears to fall, rolling down my cheeks like acid burning in the pain I truly felt. Tears blurred my vision but in the corner of my eye I spotted my razor, no, No NO NO!! NO!!  my brain told me, but my emotions took hold. I reached over and grabbed my razor, It was my last disposable one, and I didn't have a real one. Who needs to shave anyway? I thought while breaking apart the thin plastic, and removing the thin metal sheets inside. Pulling it along my paper white skin, I watched as the blood dripped out, a bit satisfying in the way it dripped down my arm, staining the skin where the blood has touched it. Again and again I sliced through the skin.

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Ready to slice again I was startled by Madame banging on the door, causing me to stab myself, the razor blade halfway through my thigh "shit hm-mmm" I whimpered "yes madam?" I said shakily. "ARE YOU AWARE WHAT TIME IT IS?! HURRY NOW! LIGHTS OUT IN FIVE MINUETS!" she screamed through the door, giving it one last kick before stomping off. "yes madam" I said sadly after she left. I looked down at my thigh, and looked back up, one hand covering my mouth and one slowly puling the razor out of my thigh. Choking back tears I pulled it out and washed it out with water, hissing in pain when it touched my wound. I quickly washed my hair and body, careful around my new cuts. 

I cleaned myself with some medical supplies found in the bottom of the sink, I had put a small cotton pad on the cut after I disinfecting it with peroxide and cream, wrapping it in gauze around my thigh, taping it tightly shut. I left the bathroom after brushing my teeth and put on my hoodie and my dirty shorts. I walked (or limped rather)  over to my bed hoping to avoid the other girls in my room and just go to sleep. "Long shower much?" I heard from behind me, kicking me hard in the back of my shins. As if you'd be that lucky , son of a shit biscuit  I thought and turned around to face the girls. "Of course she had a long shower! There's a lot for her to wash!" one sneered and the rest cackled. I walked to my bed and hid under the covers while I listened to them tease me and snicker from their own beds. Please just let me rest I thought, and covered the blanket over my head.