It's just another normal day at school or so I thought. Today Is a special because I would realize and remember something important to me that I had long forgotten. My dream had faded and seemed like a fairytale. But to today it's starting to look more and more real and it's not easy to describe but I'll try just for you.
It all started one day almost like any other the start of something wonderful,miraculous and would turn my whole world upside down. The more I get to know her the more I'm drawn in and at first I didn't think much about it. But as time went on I started to want to hangout with her more and more. We talked at lunch until I meet someone who took a lot of my time and we got to know each other. After a while we started to like each other but we related in the fact that we know true pain. Different but similar and I kept getting baited into doing stuff but only because I couldn't say no. Anxiety filled me I could talk to her one minute and another I couldn't. I still talked to Jackie/ or Jackie-Chan which is her nickname from middle school. We mostly hung out In 7th period in film. I was a little rushed into the relationship with the other girl and it was seeming like I wasn't heard. When she noticed she apologized and said she will after she deals with something. I had faith even though my overthinking saw it a mile away and I could tell by her body language also I can feel peoples feelings to a certain existent empathy wise. I'm still learning how to trust my self and two days before Valentine's Day she wanted to be friends. We are we talk here and there but she moved on I a week. It hurt but I've seen both light and dark yet can't help but be positive. So I finally decided to improve myself and not put me aside for others. I obviously helped people still but when they asked or I could tell they needed it because I've been long overdue to confront my pain from my past that only few people I told remember I think two. It's ok because I have help but still help myself too and I have six people I know that are there the most. Two the most and is also Jackie is one of them. As time went by I found we have me in common than I knew and that's just from observation also getting to know each other at lunch. We'll have small talks or she'll show me something on her chrome book. Occasionally they can last most of lunch or we just sit there and I feel like I'm in a movie. We're the Seen is on loop and it's just the two of us. I don't know what it is that I love her so much for but when I realized I was falling In Love with her I couldn't get her off my mind and started to think about it. After hours I she reminded me of something important forgotten, faded like a dream and it seemed like a fairytale, like a happily ever after. She reminded me of what love means to me and why I forgot too. But to top it all off she reminded me, I forgot how to truly smile so long ago I didn't even know I did and after much thought. I made so much progress and I did it I smiled. The icing on the cake is I also showed my teeth well smiling for the first time in my life! I don't know if it's her day brightening smile or her natural beauty. Maybe it's how relatable she or how amazingly calm I am around her. I mean my hands are almost still!!!! Which may be normal to you but my hands always are shaking depending on how I feel and it blew me away. I didn't notice for the longest time and I'm observant almost 24/7. She is a skilled artist and draws anime or people from what I've seen. I'm the exact opposite I'm a creative artist and she's a natural to her style like I am to mine. But I know all the hard work she must have put in because it's not as easy as it seems. I still can't get over how calm I am around her or the fact I've smiled the most with her and I mean a real genuine smile not happy but a indescribable feeling. Over the break for Presidents' Day she was on my mine though my busy schedule. I can't deny it I missed her like a part of me wasn't there. After much self reflecting I made a lot of progress but I couldn't shake the feeling of longing to see her. When I was home alone I felt it the most waiting patently and I almost didn't want to get up off the couch or eat just wait till she's not busy and text her. Maybe even go somewhere with her like a date but friends is ok for now I'm not going to rush into things head first and fail. I'm going to take my time and talk to her more. OMG she just past hair blowing in the wind gracefully and my whole thought process was on the moment as she walked by. We've known each other for almost a year now but I've realized how much I fell for her all so recently. I lost track of time so I don't know for how long but I know before I knew it was for a while and I'm glad I realized it now. I'm filled with so much hope and I feel alive like a person.
Yesterday I had to leave early and couldn't focus on my doctors appointment or the IQ test. I gave myself a headache overthinking some well being distracted and no sleep for three days which is not that bad. But I didn't get too many questions wrong or didn't answer only a few to none on each part of the test. But today is different I'm not leaving early to my knowledge and I get to see her. She replied and was worried about me. Omg she also said if I skipped classes and if I did please don't!! She was worried about me and was wondering were I was at, this pulls at my heart strings. ☺️😇😭😇😋UwU UwU
Oops! This image does not follow our content guidelines. To continue publishing, please remove it or upload a different image.
( ok that's it for this chapter hope you enjoy it writing my feelings is the only thing I don't have writers block for right now 😇 have a good day y'all see you next chapter 😇)
