Drunk on Fame (1D fanfic)

8 - Zayn

~~~ Zayn ~~~

The coffee cup shook in my hands. God, why did it have to be so cold? The coffee was my only source of heat for the wintery evening, and considering that I'd already drunk most of it, it wasn't proving much use.

Since the incident with the paparazzi, I'd been all over the papers, again. It was upsetting really, that even now they still had to poke into my private life. After everything. They knew just why I'd gone off the rails, it was simply because of them and the endless stories and lies they made up. Yet they still came along, with their un-quenchable thirst to ruin my existence and capture every second of my life in pictures and film. It made me sick to think that these people couldn't empathise one bit, and couldn't realise that what they were doing was making my life a living hell. A hell that even I, with my years of experience, couldn't stand. The flashing bulbs gave me headaches that no man could ever want, and their constant stories, true or false, still made tears spring down my cheeks. My face was constantly wet, a neverending flow of misery and pain.

What did they get out of it? Did they enjoy seeing me cry? Did they enjoy seeing me waste my life? Did they seriously have the nerve to say that everything I did was for the cameras, to get attention? Surely they could see that the habits I kept were to forget what they did every day and every night, and to try and drown out how they managed to terrorize my every thought.

And now here I was, nose poked into the stinking gutter, down some unfamiliar alleyway. I had a filthy grey blanket wrapped around my knees, hugging what was left of me tightly. My money had all gone. I'd wasted it on all my rotten tatoos. I had a few senimental ones on my arm, which every time I looked at, they made my stomach lurch. They had been written for the boys. For my family. For Perrie. Perrie... The beautiful girl, with a beautiful voice and a beautiful personality. The all round amazing woman who I had once been able to call mine. The highlight of my life, was gone. Forever. She left me when I started to slip. Her band couldn't take a stumble from me, so she had to go. And now she's married. Happily. Without me.

I banged me head againt the stone wall, hard, hoping it would knock me out, as it sometimes did. I couldn't take this. I couldn't do it. There was no way, no way, that I could go on living this life with no-one who loves me, and no-one to love. Maybe there's still one girl out there, who is crazy enough to fall for the mess I am. Maybe.

I pushed my head into the wall, scraping down, enjoying the sensation of pain on my numb body. Once more, my head knocked against the stone, harder than I had ever done before, and as I reached up to my head, I knew this had done it. There was just enough time to pull my fingers from my greasy matted hair, and watch the blood slip off them, before my eyes began gaining little black dots in my vision, and I fell deep into an unconcious state.

I needed someone now. More than ever before.

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First authors note... Awks...

Hi!

I hope you're liking it, so keep reading, and voting maybe?

I was considering stopping the story, but I'm going to carry on anyways...

Soo yeahhh... I hope you're enjoying it? And I'd love to know what you think in the comments, even if you hate it, because you'll only help me make it better!

Much love 

~ Ottilie

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