The Tesco Shank

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by midarislilslut

by midarislilslut

Kanye pov:
papi gru grabbed me by the legs and dragged me to tesco on a motorbike. I hit by head on a pole on a turn.
"Lmao" he said. He's so sweet.
We got there and when i saw the place, almost got tears in my eyes bro.
it's was..

beautiful.

So many hot girls with them cute ass bushy eyelashes and orange tan. They look kinda like americas old president, we don't talk bout that tho. Sadly i couldn't hit on em. First, Master daddy Gru would get so mad. Second, they all had boyfriends getting dragged around by then. They spoke kinda like Boris did when he transformed. interesting.

"Aight my g, we gonna start dis ting then?"
Said boris, sounding like a pro rapper.
"Yeah, let's do it." said Daddy Gru, under his breath. his voice sounded so hot... his pointy nose, so beautiful. his flat wide head.. ugh
makes me wanna play with my pop it on it.
As i was admiring my papi, Boris swung a fast punch. It hit Master Grus Long nose, as it snapped to the right side.
"No you didn't.. I will end you"
Daddy said, suddenly putting out sharp knifes from his fingers, looking like wolverine.
"Nah fam that a bit too far. Unless you wanna shank each other up init? i got a shank that will fit right up your bund-"
"bet"

That was when i realised, we had an audience. Dj Khalid was up on a stool, recording on his swaggy iphone 12 pro max space grey model iOS15.1.3. It reflected sunlight in my eyes and blinded me. damn.
"Oh my days fam are they gonna shank each other up. Bethany better see this."
Said a beautiful blonde girl. She took out her phone, and called her friend.
"Bethany come over rn there's this wierd long nosed guy and a really fit guy that sound like boris johnson he's so leng they're about to shank each other up!"
She blabbered into the phone, aggressively chewing her gum.
Then from the phone, her friend replied,
"Oh my god im coming rn Chantelle, just gotta get my makeup on"
"OH MY DAYS YESSS!!!!!" she squealed. she then started violently spraying victoria secret perfume all over herself. i think that's how she gets excited.
"guys can you like wait my bestie bethany wants to see this"
she interrupted them
"no" boris replied to her.
"oh my god" she walked back, attempting to roll her eyes in the thick bushy lashes.
Gru suddenly roundhouse kicked Boris the the sussy place, with his long, pointy foot.
"ha bozo"
he said
"oh my god fam i'm gonna shank you so bad innit all the leng girls gonna not want you init"
Boris said, grabbing his sussies in pain.
He stood up, grabbing something from his nike sports bag. it was a butter knife.
"look fam if you don't apologise then i'll shank you up and my g bethany will see all of it"
"Do it then"
He said, fearless and strong, flexing his biceps.
Boris tried.
but kinda failed lmfao
"oh"
he ran off.
"Gru wins!" said lady gaga, appearing from the bri'ish crowd (do i sound british) waving her mic in the air.
"Now as a congratulations, i'll do a concert!" She shouted. She started singing, with gordon ramsay and and addison rae, as backup dancers.