LETTERS ↳ D.WINCHESTER

↳Fifth Letter

He just laid on his car. Looking at the stars in the night skies. To make this more perfect? To be with his Arabella. Oh Arabella, he misses her blonde hair and her grey eyes. He missed her contagious laughter and her references to anythings she likes, like to shows, to movies, to bands, to songs. She loves quoting anything. It was one of many things why Dean loves her. He also loves how unconditionally she love him.

He slowly moved to get the next letter. His fingers ran over the old envelope. How long did she planned this? She couldn't possibly wrote this all at once! He opened the envelope and took out the letter. He didn't know what awaited him in the letter. He opened the letter and his fingers ran over the handwriting. He could recognise wherever.

Dear Dean,

Remember our first date? When you finally had a day off. Where you took me out for a picnic in the park then went to a music shop so you could buy your favourite bands, the we went to the beach for a walk and it ended up with both of us lying side by side looking up at the night sky and staring at the beautiful stars that shine down upon us.I was looking at you and I noticed something, you hate yourself so much.

I hate myself as well. I guess everyone in the world hates themselves, but they just acts like they don't. They lie to themselves to make them feel better. Dean, when I look at you. I know you are trying to make yourself not hate yourself. Dean, honey. There comes a point where it becomes too much. When we too tired to fight anymore, so we give up. Dean, we're just as mental unstable and broken as each other. It is one of the reasons we understand each other, because we both know the feeling of worthlessness.

We both felt lonely, sad and we're so damaged. Ever heard of that quote? The loneliest people are the kindest, the saddest people smile the brightest and the most damaged people are the wisest. All because they do not wish to see other people suffer they way the do... I believe this represent us. Dean Winchester, I am not going to rant to you about the situation. But I would like to say, Dean you are strong and you can survive without me. I know you can. I will just be apart of your past and memory.

But that's okay, I don't think we'll last together long. I mean Fate hates both our asses so one of us is gone. We could have lasted. I know...I am making you wonder. Why this tense? Why do I speak like it is the past? Well, the more you read the more you'll understand. I will say soon. Just in a few letters. Can you survive till then? Can you survive after these letters? I hope so. I hope you'll understand and move on with your life. Please Dean for me? I know, begging isn't going to work, but hey. It was worth a shot.

I love you, even if Heaven and Hell decided that they're both satisfied.

Arabella

His mind process the words he had read. He put the letter back into the envelope and back into the box. He put the lid on the box. He sat in the drivers seat, contemplating. One hand on the wheel the other running his hand through his hair. He sighed and pulled out his phone. Three voicemail. Two from Sam and One from Castiel. He started the engine as he listened to the voice mail.

"Dean, Where are you? You kinda vanished for a few hours without telling me. Just call me when You're coming back or something."

"Dean, I know you are reading those letters. But Sam is very worried and concern with you vanishing. Would you please come back to the bunker?"

"Dean it's been an hour since I last called you. Thirty minutes was Castiel from calling. Are you coming back to the bunker?"

He smiled slightly as his eyes was focused on the road ahead of him. He was coming back to the bunker. Back to his brother. Back to his angel. But the only person he isn't coming back to, Arabella. He wasn't going back to her. Not soon anyway.