LETTERS ↳ D.WINCHESTER

↳Seventh Letter

Dean kinda just sat there. Should he or should he not? He was getting more curious and curious every letter he reads. What was that saying? Curiosity kills the cat. The metaphorical cat. Maybe he should leave it for another time. Catch a break. Go on a hunt, something to keep his mind out of the letters. He just stared at the blank wall. He didn't notice Castiel at his door. The knock on the door made Dean jump. Dean looked over to Castiel who has now moved closer to Dean.

"Dean, it is for the best you know. She loves you very much. It was obvious you both loved each other dearly."

"Loved? Why do you talk in past, man? I still love her and I know she still loves me!"

"Dean..."

"No Cas, don't 'Dean' me.Look just leave me alone!"

Castiel looked at him best friend, then nodding at him before leaving Dean. Dean was once again alone. He sighed before kicking the leg of his bed. He went to the sink and washed his face. He looked in the mirror. Stared blankly at his own reflection. He sees a man who did a lot of killing. A man who shouldn't deserve to live for so long. He should be dead but it seems like life had something else for him. Great, ain't it just? Dean sat down at his bed, again in his hands were a letter.

Dear Dean,

I am going to guess that you are very angry, annoyed or self loathing again. I wish I could be there to comfort you. Really. You've made a mess again, there's no more trying. Time to sort yourself out...In the dark there's a light that's calling everyone out.If you could see beyond the walls that you have built. I know it's hard to escape the past and start it again. Sometimes I think the world is fading, you know? With all the problems we've gone through. With all the drama, I feel like it is fading away.

Dean, I only ask to remember our memories of time together. I wouldn't want you to forget me. I won't forget you. I wish I was there with you. I need you because you make me laugh more than anyone else, because I feel like the only girl, your girl, because you helped me to find myself. Dean Winchester, never ever think you haven't done anything for me. You have, you have done many many things. And I am grateful.

Do you ever think that this world is another planet's hell? I mean this world is already hell for some people. For other people it's heaven. On this non wonderful journey of mine, I guess I changed perspective. I started to enjoy the world's beautiful gifts and seeing the beauty in everything. Isn't it funny how day by day nothing changes but when you look back everything is different? But the struggles makes you stronger, and the changes make you wise and happiness has its own way of taking its sweet time.

Dean, I love you. I really do. I love you with all my heart and these letters will soon end. You'll understand. You'll be angry, with me, yourself and the world. You'll be mad at Castiel and Sam for knowing but do not blame them, please don't. I don't want you to be mad at them, they're your best friend, your brothers, your only family you have left. Be angry at me. I'm so sorry...

I love you, even if Lucifer rules over Heaven and Michael protect Hell.

Arabella.

Dean couldn't take anymore. He couldn't... More questions exploded through his mind. Why should he be angry at his girlfriend? Why is Arabella sorry? Why just simply why? Dean put the letter back in its place. His hands rubbed his face and kept his face buried in them. He closed his eyes and let him mind race.

Sam and Castiel were in the kitchen. The silence was unbearable really. The only noise you could hear was the flicker of Sam's book. The looks at Castiel cast to Sam and then turning away when Sam looks at him with the same expression as Castiel. They were worried, worried for Dean. His pain was screaming to them. It was screaming for help. It hurt them both, to see Dean go through those letters but it was for the best.

"Maybe we should tell him, Sam."

Sam looked up and stared at Castiel, "Dude, we can't. We promised Arabella we wouldn't. She never broke a promise so why should we?"

Castiel looked down, Sam was right. Arabella always kept her promises and she never broke one. They knew she was trusting. Arabella was that type of girl. Unique. If one word described her it would be unique. She could have any guy in the world. But she picked the guy who was self-loathing, broken inside and needing helping. Dean is so thankful for her. They love each other so much. You could see it in their eyes.

The way they look at each other with so much love. The way they comfort each other in times of suffer. The way they can tolerate their annoying traits. You know they loved each other just when no words needs to be spoken when one is broken inside. They love each other so much they both that the other person would go to the end of the world and risk their lives for them. If only their bond of loves can destroy of the problems of the world because if it did, the world would be at peace.

"I cannot stand to see Dean in such pain."

"I know Cas, it hurts me as much it hurts you. But it's for the best."

"For the best."