If You Knew

The Sad Doe

"You need to get out more" dixie said

"you haven't gone on a date since Balto" she explained

"She's still grieving, give her a break" Rita responded.

I haven't gone out in 4 months since the death of my husband Balto, it's not that i'm not ready

for a relationship, it's just that I'm scared of losing another person. I want to go out but I don't

even know where to start.

"Guys i'll figure it out on my own time it's okay" i stated

"you say this every time" dixie rolled her eyes " angel take your time there's lots of fish in the

sea ''Rita explained pulling me in for a hug. I hugged back and then we let go, we started walking

to the coffee shop that we were originally on our way to but we stopped so that Rita could pin her

posters around the city promoting her new skin care products. Rita always has some product

that she tries to sell but it usually doesn't go well because people aren't really interested but me

and Dixie makes it our destiny to alway buy something from her. We made it to the coffee shop

and I opened the door holding it so my friends could walk in. I let the door go once I saw that

they were in and then let the door swing shut. I gripped my bag that held my computer. I was

planning on typing a paper for my boss but I might keep it in my bag because I fear I will spill

coffee on it. Dixe and Rita found a table and sat their stuff down. They sat right next to the

window and I sat on the other side so that my back was facing the door. I do this so that i'm not

thinking of Balto walking in because for weeks after i lost him i imagined he would just somehow

walk into the coffee shop and surprise me but i know that's unrealistic and it will never happen.

"What have you been up to with your whole singing career?" i asked "it's going great, my

management is great and i love doing concerts every week" dixie replied " that's amazing i'm

glad it's going well for you" i responded. The waiter started walking to our table and I looked up

at him. It seemed, his name tag read the name Charlie. " Hello my name is Charlie and I will be

your waiter on this very wonderful evening" he said " hi Charlie" Rita said " hello what would you

like" Charlie said, getting his pen out of his apron and putting his notebook up to his face. " We

would all like black coffee with a side of cream," Dixie said, " Alright, that will be out in like five

minutes," Charlie said, writing down the order and then shortly leaving our table. "He was nice

looking" dixie said "drop it dixie" Rita snarled " okay" dixie laughed i look out the window and i

think of the time where me and Balto walked down this sidewalk, it was so cold we almost got

frostbite a smile began to form on my from the thought of us. "What are you smiling at" dixie

asked "oh nothing i'm just looking at the flowers outside" i lied " you don't like flowers what were