Feanor & Fingolfin

Discussions

"Are you crying?" Feanaro sneered.

"Go jump off a cliff and rot in the depths of the void." Nolofinwe snapped back, turning away and desperately attempting to dry his face.

"When I was your age, I was done with crying." Feanaro responded easily, a mild concern beginning to grow at Nolofinwe's uncharacteristic crabbiness.

"I'm sure you were, little Ada's boy you are. As I said Feanaro, go. Jump. Off. A. Cliff. And. Rot. In. The. Void." Nolofinwe focused on pulling air into his lungs and steadying his breathing.

"Seriously, Nolo, what's up with you?" Feanaro cornered Nolofinwe against the couch in the room.

"I SAID-" Nolofinwe was cut off by Feanaro stuffing Nolofinwe's own cloak into Nolofinwe's mouth. Nolofinwe deflated, tears gathering in his eyes as he began to chew dejectedly on the fabric in his mouth.

"Let's get lunch." Feanaro decided, grabbing Nolofinwe by the arm and dragging him out into the hall and towards the palace kitchen. Nolofinwe stumbled to keep up with his older brother, but did not voice any complaints.

Some time later, Nolofinwe and Feanaro had seated themselves in the clearing of a nearby forest, they spread out the picnic blanket and unwrapped their lunches, given to them by the chefs.

"So." Feanaro began as he munched on a handful of chips. "What was that about?"

"Ah, well, it's nothing really." Nolofinwe squirmed under Feanaro's intense gaze. "Just, Ada was giving me you know, the talk... about like sex and stuff... and it was just a bit uncomfortable, is all."

Feanaro raised an unimpressed brow. "Huh." He went back to his sandwich.

Nolofinwe let out a breath, glad to be let off easily.

"So what did you think?" Feanaro asked, and Nolofinwe cursed inwardly.

"About what?"

Feanaro rolled his eyes. "Sex. Be honest."

Nolofinwe had never been able to lie to his brother. "It just made me uncomfortable, the idea of doing, you know, the thing. I want to get married, don't get me wrong! The actual marrying part kind of sounds gross, though."

Feanaro nodded, considering. "That might just be how Ada described it, but you don't have to have sex to have a relationship, or even be married. Just something some couples like to do to get closer, or that others do for fun."

"I definitely want to marry someone, but Ada said that sex is really important in knowing each other."

Feanaro snorted, and another look crossed his face that Nolofinwe wasn't able to interpret. "Ada's wrong. You don't have to have sex, commonly couples use it to share intimacy, but its up to personal preferance. There are other things you can do to spend time together and get to know each other."

"Oh, good." Nolofinwe felt himself begin to calm.

"Ever had a crush?" Feanaro asked.

"Yeah, not recently though. So don't even start with your immature teasing."

"I'm never immature!" Feanaro gasped dramatically, and was rewarded with a chuckle from Nolofinwe. "So you just don't want sex?"

"Honestly it all sounds kinda gross."

"Not to get personal at all, but have you ever masturbated?"

"That's definitely personal. But I haven't, Ada said not to." Nolofinwe flushed at the uncomfortable topic.

"Okay, take everything Ada has told you about intimacy, and shove it up Melko's you-know-what." Feanaro turned to face Nolofinwe directly. "Entertain the idea of pleasuring yourself, and explore how your body reacts. There is nothing wrong in understanding yourself, and it is better to learn now than later when it could affect a relationship. Do you need further direction in the act of pleasuring yourself?"

"NO!" Nolofinwe was sure that he had never blushed so much before in his life. Nonetheless, he was grateful his brother was having a serious conversation with him, especially since his father had been less than helpful.

"There are also several labels for these kinds of preferences. Like there is gay for people attracted to the same gender as they are, and trans for people who have differend genders than born genetilia. Asexual describes someone who does not experience sexual attraction. People define it differently, I don't know that much, but some people enjoy the physical act of pleasuring themselves, without being interested the actual act itself, while some just don't see people and think that they look nice to have sex with."

"I don't look at people and think that they look good to have sex with!" Nolofinwe looked appalled.

Feanor rolled his eyes. "You've never seen a woman and thought her chest looked nice?"

"Well yeah, if it's shaped in a way that compliments her build. Like to draw."

"So not in a sexual manner. Maybe you're asexual." Feanaro shrugged. "I do know that I think of quite different things when I see a woman's chest bounce as she rides a horse." Feanaro snickered at Nolofinwe's disgusted look.

"That is horrid Feanaro! How do you think she feels to be seen only as some sexual fantasy of yours?"

Feanaro rolled his eyes. "I don't stare, and I certainly do appreciate their personalities and skills. But anyways, I was going to talk about Aromanticism too."

Nolofinwe narrowed his eyes at the obvious topic change, but he was too curious to interrupt.

"Basically someone doesn't feel romantic feelings like most people do. That's me. I'm definitely not asexual, but I just don't experience love like everyone talks about." Feanaro paused, assessing Nolofinwe's blank expression. "No, it's not that I haven't met the right person and I definitely don't lack passion. I would enjoy a relationship that's deeper than a friendship, but not quite a romantic one. Maybe someone who I could work with in the forges."

Nolofinwe shrugged. "I don't quite understand, but I can accept it. But didn't you have crushes?"

Feanaro snorted. "No, I was lying because I wanted to experience what everyone else did."

"I thought you wanted kids?" Nolofinwe recalled the way his brother always seemed to subtly soften around elflings. When Nolofinwe was a child, Feanaro had gotten in trouble for stealing away a visiting scholar's daughter and introducing her to the harp. Of course, the girl was now a very well known and skilled harpist, so the scholar had grudgingly thanked Feanaro for the deed.

"I definitely do want kids, lots, but I'll find someone who can understand and we will come to an agreement. Preferably we'd have a sexual relationship, raise the kids together, and hopefully work together some in the forge."

"Oh." Nolofinwe nodded. "I can see you doing that."

Several minutes passed in peace, before Feanaro grinned. "Sooo... anyone you have in mind for this marriage of yours?"

Nolofinwe blushed, his mind immediately jumping to the sweet stableboy who cared for Nolofinwe's horse. "No!"

Feanaro stared intensely at Nolofinwe, making him gulp.

"My tutor last year, I guess. That made it kind of awkward. She was nice though." Nolofinwe offered, not willing to give any recent information.

"Mhm. What about that hunter girl? Anaire, I think her name is?"

"EW! I can't stand her!"

"You say that now, but mark my words, one day you're going to end up married." Feanaro teased, leaning back on his hands with satisfaction.

"Absolutely not! And what would you know about crushes, anyway?" Nolofinwe accused.

"Enough to see you making eyes at that stableboy of yours." Feanaro grinned wickedly at Nolofinwe's widened eyes.

"Do not tell Ada!"

"I won't tell Ada... but unless you get to the house sooner than I do... I might tell that stableboy." With these words, Feanaro jumped to his feet and raced towards the palace.

Usually Nolofinwe would have sighed at his brother's tactics to avoid cleaning up and done the work himself. Today however, Nolofinwe shouted at Feanaro's back and gave chase. Despite the stress of Feanaro's threat, their conversation left Nolofinwe feeling lighter than he has since the topic of sex had first come up with his mother several years ago.