sins and suits

6; banquet, part one.

darling.

That word rang in your ear so smoothly, like the whiskey that the bartender was pouring for Levi at this moment.

"Mr. Ackerman...u-um, thank you. You didn't have to pay for me, though," you stutter, shocked at the sight in front of you. How long has he been here? You were experiencing the worst case of deja vu. The others probably didn't see him since he was sitting in the corner of the bar, which he most likely did on purpose. He stands in close proximity of you, chiseled cheeks slightly flushed, due to the fact that he's been drinking.

"Mr. Ackerman, huh. We're in a bar, not work," he scoffs, finishing his whiskey and placing it on the bar table. Even with a couple of drinks in him, he remained nonchalant as usual. One thing you've learned about Levi though, is that even with that stoic expression, those eyes revealed everything. Right now, they looked straight at you, with utter desperation. The type of look that made you want to melt, right where you were.

"I am aware, sir. Doesn't change the fact that you're my boss. Thanks once again, have a nice night," you reply, avoiding the comment he made. You turn around and get ready to head out, but was stopped by a pair of cold hands holding your shoulder, turning you back around.

His touch was at first so cold, but immediately warmed up when in contact with your soft skin. It reminded you of that night, the one that led to where you were now. Little did you know, his desperation derived from him wanting to touch you again, even if it meant just your shoulder. For now.

"Wha-"

"What color is your dress for the banquet?" he asks abruptly, his eyes softening. You were confused as to why he would ask, but you didn't question it further, you just wanted to get out of here. You wanted to leave because you were afraid of doing something stupid. You weren't one to deliberately repeat the same mistake, but the temptation physically hurt, and that ultimately scared you.

You lightly brush your shoulder away from him and sigh, "It's red.....I need to go," you mumble, avoiding eye contact. He doesn't make any effort in stopping you, in fact, he immediately leaves after. No goodbye, just left some cash for the bartender and left.

what goes on in that mind of his...

"Hey," you exhale as you take a seat inside Pieck's car. She gave you a concerned look, probably because you took so long. You tried to not look at her in the eye, which made her all the more suspicious.

"I'm just gonna say it — what's going on with you? You've been acting different lately, Y/n" she asks you, her downturned eyes finally coming in contact with yours. You instantly feel guilty, not only for making her worry but for not being able to tell her. This was a burden that you only wanted upon yourself.

You give her a reassuring smile "Nothing Pieck, I'm fine. I appreciate you for caring but don't worry, I'm fine. Really, I am," you respond, turning to face the window as she drives home.

She stayed silent for a bit, "... seems like you're trying to convince yourself of that," she scoffs, then sighs, softening her tone, "I'm here if you need to talk, you know that right?"

please stop talking. please stop making this harder.

You continue to stare through the window, closing your eyes when hearing her words. Part of you didn't want to talk about this out loud, because it would be admitting that it was more than a hookup. A hookup shouldn't make you feel the way you do right now; aching to see his face, hear his voice, feel his touch. Levi was more than your boss, he was someone who you so stupidly fell for. Someone you didn't understand fully, but eventually want to, despite being an asshole half of the time. Someone who you so desperately want, but ultimately can't have. Your mind knew that, so why couldn't your heart agree?