Captain America: Love in a Time of Loss

Shock

Steve Rogers stood at the window of his room at the compound and watched as Thor took flight. It was an overcast day, and as the despondent thunder god tore through the sky, the heavens opened up and wept. Wind swept across the land and sent heavy raindrops clattering against the window, turning the world outside into a sad watercolor painting. Thunder and lightning crashed with such fury that Steve felt it deep within his soul.

"Thor just left," Natasha announced from the doorway.

Steve sighed and rubbed his tired eyes. "Yeah. I saw."

When the team had boarded the ship for the ride home from the empty mission, morale had been so low that no one had words. They spoke in slow, sad body language and somber expressions. Steve could still see the look on Thor's face when they'd returned home and delivered the news to the others. That their family was going to stay broken. That no one was coming back. The agonized guilt on Thor's face was heartbreaking. He'd stormed out of the room and Steve chased after him, hoping to slow him down so they could talk.

"What is there to talk about?!" Thor had demanded before storming away and leaving Steve at a loss for words. What was there to talk about? They'd truly lost. And there was no coming back.

Natasha crossed the room and hugged him from behind. "We're going to get through this, Steve."

Steve tried to fire up some kind of hope within him and failed. "I don't know how, Nat." He turned around to face her. "How do we get through this? How can we?"

"Because we don't have a choice. Because if we lay down and give up on life then Thanos didn't just take half of us away; he'll have taken all of us."

Steve digested what she said and forced a smile. "I can always count on you to give me a kick in the ass, can't I?"

Natasha smiled up at him, but it was a hollow one. Through it, Steve could see the fatigue in her face; he could see that she's recently cried.

"How is everyone?" Steve asked.

"Well. Tony and Pepper have left. Rocket and Nebula left with Carol. Bruce is in his lab, drowning his sorrows in a riveting edition of the scientific journal. Sue is finally sleeping. And Thor, as you know, is currently flooding all of New York."

Steve nodded.

"You know, there was a time when I thought the Avengers could handle anything." Natasha sat down on Steve's bed and hugged her legs to her chest. "Even knowing that Thanos had five of the Stones, I believed in us. And I still do."

"Even after we dropped the ball so hard?"

"Even after we dropped the ball so hard," Natasha said.

Steve sat down next to her and shook his head. "You know, I think I get why we lost. Why Thanos was able to pull it off."

Natasha tilted her head and waited for him to go on.

"He came into this prepared to sacrifice whatever he had to if it meant winning. He killed his own daughter. We weren't willing to do the same." He took a deep breath. "Vision told us to kill him."

Natasha shook her head. "No. Don't go down that road, Steve."

"I'm just saying. The Avengers are a family. He used that against us." He shook his head and his eyes burned as fresh tears came. "I never thought, in all my life, that being a family would be our downfall."

Natasha reached for his hand and squeezed it. "Yeah. But being a family might just be what gets us through all of this."