Puppet Master

Chapter Thirty Three

The air was thick with an unbearable tension, and she struggled to fill her lungs, dropping to the sofa with a groan.

“You okay?” He’d not made a move to touch her, almost as though his skin against hers would be a flint to a match – the final catalyst that would have had her condemnation combusting from within her.

He gripped the back of the leather suite with white knuckles, metres away from her.

“Dizzy,” she muttered, closing her eyes and pushing her head into the soft cushions, recriminations and allegations still flying around in her head, “Too much happening I think.”

He reached across, and pressed the back of his hand against her forehead gently, “You feel kind of hot, babe. Do you need to lie down or something? Can I get you anything?”

“I think that we maybe need to talk, don’t you?”

He reached for the nape of his neck, as though anchoring himself, holding himself back from reaching out to take her back into his arms. “I guess we do.”

“Sit with me,” she asked, opening her violet eyes to find him in the empty room, and tapping her hand on the cushion next to her, like a mother would to a frightened child.

He did, and then stunned her as he lay down to rest his head in her lap. Softly, she began to stroke his dark hair out of his eyes, realizing on some other plane of thought that it had grown longer than usual. “So ... that’s the big secret then? Your father?”

“Part of it. There’s so much you don’t know Tor, I don’t even know where to start.” His eyes were shut, savouring the feeling of her fingertips running though the midnight blue strands of his hair. He didn’t notice the resolve in her eyes, or her face recoil with a wince just moments before.

“I don’t suppose you do, do you Jay?” With the gentlest of touches, she ran her fingers across his face, as though memorizing each angle, each indent. She touched him as though it would be the last time she would see his face. There were tears in her voice when she spoke, “I wish it could have been different, just for a second. I wish that this was real, and stable, but I don’t think it ever can be. I’ve loved you for as long as I can remember - my heart has been yours since I was twelve years old.

“I’ve been submissive to you far longer than we’ve been sleeping together, because you’re the centre of my universe, the master that calls my blood to the surface, and keeps my heart beating. I breathe for you Jayden, and you couldn’t trust me enough not to judge you when I realise you’re not perfect.”

He reached up to run his fingers through her hair, his thumb gently ran across her windpipe, his eyes darkening as he felt the breath catch beneath her skin. The tiny friction between their skin a palpable, living thing that gave her arousal a knife blade edge. “I do trust you babe, you know now...”

“I know because of Nate, Jay, let’s not pretend that we’ve had some breakthrough between us!”

“But I thought ...”

“No. That kiss changes nothing Jay, I still can’t live with this.”