Silly Me

special chapter | before days

trigger warning: suicide

My father hates me. No, hate is not the right term to describe his feelings towards me. He loathes me. He abhors my whole existence.

My childhood was not the best. It was the worst.

He was cruel to the young me. During that time, I don't know the reason why.

Despite the number of death wishes I received, I still longed for his affection. After all, he's still my father. My own blood. Or did he?

I only realized the truth about my existence when I was in high school. I was the fruit of adultery.

My mother cheated on my father.

"I shouldn't have been born," is what I realized after I learned the truth. I realized now why my father loathed me.

I blamed my mother. She was the reason for my suffering. She should receive my father's wrath.

Why me? I didn't asked to be born!

Then, I did the only thing I could do. I ran away from home.

I ran away while blaming both my mom and my father. If they don't want me, they should've abort me! Why do they have to pass their trauma to me? I'm innocent!

I almost died. Too bad.

From then on, my father stopped being cruel. He apologized. But it was just a front. He still loathes me until his last breath.

On my brother's 25th birthday, he committed suicide.

On his suicide note, he blamed me for his death. I was my mother's cursed child. The root cause of their broken marriage.

Everyone blamed me - even my own brother.

Except my mom and my little sister.

Ameri