May naging boyfriend (in fact 2ex and ex- suitor) din ako but it didn't last. Yung una kong naging boyfriend, okay naman kami pinakilala ko siya sa parents ko. Naging legal kami pero habang tumatagal lumalabo na... wala siyang kasalanan pero ako? Unti-unti na kasing nawawala yung pagmamahal ko sa kanya I felt sorry for him dahil minahal niya akong tunay kaso hindi ko alam kung bakit bigla na lang nawala lahat mostly yung love. To be honest wala akong iba, na meron bang bago? No. Never, basta nawala na yung nararamdaman ko sa kanya. We didn't talk hanggang sa nakipag break na ako. Ayokong ituloy pa yung alam ko namang walang patutunguhan dahil kung ipipilit ko pa masasaktan lang kaming dalawa so I had to end it.
The second is I was in a worst relationship with the man I ever had. Yes, I was becoming desperate yung tipong ako na yung nag hahabol at uhaw sa attention. I wouldn't get into details of the immature stupid things he did but I remember what the heck he was. I'm deciding to break up with him
Lastly for now, manliligaw ko (ex-suitor) I am in a 6-months communicate with a guy. Siya yung unang nag approach sakin hanggang sa lagi na kaming mag kausap pero dumating din yung time na madalang na rin kami makapag usap but still lagi niya parin akong binibigyan ng oras at iniiwanan ng message through facebook. Dahil sa naging busy din ako sa work ko at I admit nawalan ako ng gana at nawala rin yung nararamdaman ko sa kanya kaya kahit may free time naman ako hindi ko nagawang mag update sa kanya. Yes, sa una palang I really admit na may mali ako kaya kinausap ko siya that night at I explained to him kung ano ang mga reason ko. Until one day I found out na he deal with another girl at masaklap ka-iloveyou-han niya na. days palang daw sila nagkakilala. I understand kung bakit dahil nawalang ako ng time sa kanya kaya naghanap siya ng iba para masuklian yung oras na hinihingi niya. The whole conversation started with a lie. He would lie to me. we discussed is about how his new girl. He tells me the stories about the girl that night too. as a matter of fact I trusted him. Pinapili ko siya kung ako o yung babae. I told him na ba'ka infatuation love lang pero still he chose the girl over me. Never kaming nag meet up. We met on the internet. Akala ko siya na... but I was wrong kasi nauwi din kami sa break up. siya yung unang nakipag break so I let go and he set me free. Afterwards nag paramdam ulit siya at gustong bumalik but Enough is enough. I couldn't explain it more since the breakup came again.
In all my relationships I've only one to do is the breaking up not just once but again and again. At that direct moment I usually cry because I'm a zero ability to express or talk about it. My heart and stomach were already doing flip flops when the bomb dropped. They'd had an "OOPS HERE WE GO AGAIN" The moment I always worried I'd never meet someone, and thought about it but na realized ko na tama na muna. Nakakasawa din pala. Paulit-ulit na lang kasi... madaling makahanap o makakilala pero yung mag tiwala ulit mahirap na.
Presently I've been single for 5 years (officially) and that's mainly because I know what I want and I'm not interested for games and time wasters. That of course, is besides the fact that I enjoy less drama. Nasanay narin ako hindi na pumasok sa relationship. Sa una lang okay at maayos pero sa katagalan na. I lost confidence in myself too. Imagine moving into a new apartment and wondering why the rooms are still empty. Because I, too, find myself asking a similar question. asking myself that I'm not good enough?
Until I'd completely moved on. I deserve better, I just have to prove it to them. A Guy who is not making enough effort or plans is not that into me and I don't count on a man who isn't worth to be trust.
How many times can the same thing break my heart?
