Entry 3 Day 10 (May)

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I heard children laughing from outside. I heard Airianna playing make believe with Juna. I forgot when the last time I smiled that much was, but soon after, my happiness faded away as I began to cry. I cried because I couldn't see them. They're probably as ashamed of me as you are but all I want to do is be with them. I want to be able to say that I did this to myself. That's what you all want me to say, isn't it. I can't though, I didn't do this to myself and I didn't do this for myself either. I did what I did for you, I did it because I didn't want you to die but I am sorry. I'm sorry for abusing your trust, I didn't know it was so shallow. 

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