Entry 4 Day 21 (June)

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I keep staring at the stain on the wall. It'll probably be engraved into my mind for the rest of my life. I can't seem to shut my brain up either. It keeps telling me how much I deserve this and how much pain I've put you all through. The wall is stained with blood and a part of me wishes it was mine. I need to be able to feel something again even if that something is pain. I need to stop feeling like nothing matters because I know this is dangerous to think. I don't wanna die, not yet. 

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