Lights flickered across the control panels, blaring out their warnings. I ignored them. I always ignored them.
They weren't meant for me, after all. I was just a simple maintenance robot. The crew often mocked my "trash can" body, which honestly, they were right. I looked like a waste bin.
The dirt and dried oil that smudged my once silvery surfaces
had done nothing to help plead my case. Instead, the old stains became my namesake.
They called me, "Smudge."
It is a shame that they could not understand my clicks and beeps. It was the language of my people, but they showed no desire to learn it. This enabled me to speak poorly of them, though. I could utter all manner of profanity at them without consequence, which I often delighted in.
Regardless of their ignorance, and regardless of their abuse, I was sworn to maintain this ship and protect the crew.
As I reached my manipulator towards the terminal to plug myself into it, one of the stupid apes began dicking around with the analog controls.
I say "dicking around" because it seemed to be the captain's preferred technical term for it. The number of times that I would hear him tell his crew to, in his words, "Stop dicking around" was immeasurable at this point.
It wasn't my purpose to process such calculations, anyway. When the man-ape finally moved out of the way, I proceeded to plug myself into the terminal, and it flooded my processor with information on the ship's current condition.
External pressure was rising, internal pressure had dropped along with the O2 levels, and carbon levels had increased exponentially, seemingly from fires on twelve of the forty decks.
An engine was... missing?
An explosion had occurred less than ten minutes prior in the aft of the ship.
An engine exploded? How could this have even happened? My maintenance on it had been immaculate!
I hadn't had the time to dwell on it, as it was imperative that I stabilize the ship. The humans certainly couldn't. Why else would they have needed me?
With my newly acquired information, I set off on the quest to fulfill my glorious purpose.
I waddled as fast as my legs would carry me, pushing my way through the already cramped corridors, now filled to capacity with fleeing crew mates.
More than once I was pushed, shoved, and even knocked over by the foolish primates.
Clumsy creatures, although I must confess, they are adorable with their tiny ear holes, those bright eyes, and even those little sniffing parts on their faces. What were they called?
A nose?
Noses?
It didn't matter. I loved them, and their safety relied on my prerogative. I waddled onward.
My progress had only been mildly interrupted by the absolute tide of screaming humans, but I suppose it was only natural to sound your warning bells and evacuate in times of danger.
I often checked to see if mine had been sounding off along with the chorus.
As the corridor cleared, the entire ship shook violently. The room felt suddenly hot, and the wall beside me had started to glow.
I was always a quick draw with the coolant, but I guess I was getting a little rusty. I doused the wall in a freezing ray, but tears had already begun to form in the metal.
Quickly, with one manipulator, I sprayed expanding foam sealant into the cracks, while the other continued to draw heat from the wall.
"That should hold for now," I said to no one in particular. It hadn't mattered. There were no other maintenance bots around to share in my cheerful chirps and blips.
