'Seattle' - The Cruelest Place in the World

Chapter 2: Our Neighbor

Wall-nut's Point-of-View:

I had just been lazing around all morning, just sitting on the couch and watching the television. I get bored as the shows that are on right now are just ass. I have nothing to do, and I don't know what should I do. I kept on flicking channels until I found a history channel. I was interested into the channel and started to watch it. Chomper, Winter Melon, Fume-shroom, and Peashooter come over to watch too.

Chomper: "What's this shit you got on right now?"

Me: "Just some history channel."

TELEVISION: "...uly, 1932, deceased human corpses, were sort of resurrected. However, these resurrected humans were gray, and they ate living human brains. Victims of these brain-eating attacks died, but reanimated as zombies. Victims of more severe attacks died, and couldn't reanimate as zombies."

Chomper: "BRUH. We know what a zombie is, dumbass!"

Fume-shroom: "Quiet Chomper, we're trying to watch."

Chomper: "You fucker got some real nerve here. You know, there's a few things I can shove down your farthole."

Fume-shroom: "Come get me, you sad little shit."

A fight broke out between Chomper and Fume-shroom. Chomper was biting Fume-shroom savagely, like a little bitch. Fume-shroom was releasing spores all over the place. Me, Peashooter and Winter Melon had to break up the fight. We pulled the two away from each other. Fume-shroom was seriously hurt. Poor 'shroom looked like he was going to die. Crazy Dave usually ignores fights, he simply lets us resolve it ourselves. We let Sunflower treat Fume-shroom's injuries, while Winter Melon and Peashooter reprimand Chomper. Chomper's an asshole, a bully. Maybe he's doing that to vent his pent-up anger about taking 42 seconds to hork down a regular brown coat zombie.  I just continued to watch the history channel.

TELEVISION: "...e estimate for human survivors as of 2004 is 100,000. In 2001, there were no longer any known survivors in Europe. The last known survivors were eaten in Helsinki, Finland. For Africa, there is believed to be a community of about 1,000 human survivors in the Democratic Rebulic of the Congo, but we can't prove the existance of the community. In South America, there may be still uncontacted tribes living in the Amazon-"

Me: "Huh, that's nice. I didn't know there were this many survivors."

Peashooter: "Man, I hate Chomper."

Winter Melon: "Maybe he should be fed to the zombies."

TELEVISION: "-As for North America, there are only three survivors. Crazetopher David Blazing III, Patrice Blazing, and an anonymous person. We do not know the gender, name, age, or anything about this person They all live in Seattle, Washington. As for Asia, most survivors are Chinese. They make up most of the current human population. The Chinese simply refuse to die. They have found ways to fight back against the strategy of overrunning things-"

Peashooter: "These 'Chinese' are so smart man."

Winter Melon: "How do they do that? What kind of thing do they have that can fight off that many zombies!?"

TELEVISION: "-however, the Chinese fear Jack-in-the-Box Zombies so much, that they have developed methods just for killing Jack-in-the-Box Zombies. According to an interview with Mr. Tang Shihong, he says that the Chinese human survivors are 'big brain' and they use Gloom-shrooms, Fume-shrooms, and Winter Melons a lot. They like to employ a structure similar to the Gloom-walk, but Gloom-walk actually suffers greatly from Jacks. So as long as the Jacks are suppressed, no amount of zombies can defeat their defenses."

Me: "Is that why the neighbor is scared shitless of Jacks?"

Winter Melon: "Maybe yeah, she's been suffering an endless seige of zombies, but she just never dies... Maybe she is big brain, like the 'Chinese' humans."

Peashooter: "Since she's immortal, that means the zombies will basically just leave us alone forever..."

Peashooter was correct, the neighbor knows if she dies, then Crazy Dave and Patrice will also die. I didn't really like the neighbor. She was arrogant and enjoys bragging on how she can kill a Gargantuar without doing anything. She also enjoys telling us nonsensical things, such as trying to 'teach' us about 'Giga-gargantuars', which don't exist. She also tells us that mushrooms are very good, but that doesn't make sense. It's much worth it to place a daytime plant instead, and she also seems to be a tree food hoarder, because she gets rich very fast. At least we get money for her to buy things. You could see her 100+ ft tree from our house.

A while later, we heard a big racket that was going on outside. There were probably millions of zombies marching down the street, chanting "BRAINZ!" Dave and Patrice looked out of the window, to remain hidden in the house from the zombies. Our next-door Cactus neighbor, Ester head towards us.

Gatling Pea: "What's happening now?"

Ester: "They got her. All it took was a fucking Jack. She panicked and her defense was decimated."

Peashooter: "Isn't that what the history channel said before? 'As long as the Jacks are suppressed, no amount of zombies can defeat their defenses.'"

Wall-nut: "Bruh, you're right!"

Winter Melon: "But, what do we do now? If the neighbor dies then... HOLY SHIT, they're going to attack us!"

Got slapped with the cold hard truth. The zombies we're going to kill us, it'll only be a matter of time before they do. We suggested we pack up, and leave town. But Crazy Dave is not a chicken. He is making us stay in town. "We hold our ground, and fight the zombies." Only the Mega Flower may know why Crazy Dave made this decision. Is it pride?

Peashooter's Point-of-View:

The day after we heard of the neighbor's death, I saw a zombie in the front yard, putting something into our mailbox. This is my oppurtunity to impress everyone, especially Sunflower. I immediately bolt out of the front door and start shooting peas at him. The zombie ran for his truck, but I stopped him from leaving. I began to interrogate the zombie, who looked like he clearly came here to kill Crazy Dave and Patrice.

Zombie: "Look buddy, I'm just putting mail in your mailbox."

Me: "It's a clear lie sice you're a zombie, what the fuck are you trying to do? Poison!? Trojan Horse!?"

Zombie: "You're delusional, you little shit!"

"Hey, what's going on Pea?" Sunflower came here after hearing the commotion.

Me: "Look Sun, this loser is clearly trying to kill us."

Sunflower: "It's just a piece of paper, Pea. Why are you treating him so harshly?"

Me: "Zombies always lie to get what they want."

Zombie: "It's from Dr. Zomboss himself, go read it."

The zombie booked it for his truck. I couldn't stop him and he drove away. What a loser. I bet no plant in the world likes him. Crazy Dave and other plants we're signaling us to bring the mail into the house. We opened the mail, and inside, was a letter.

Dear Crazetopher David Blazing III,

You must remit yours, your niece's brains, and your home to us forthwith. I will give you 24 hours. Be advised that if you refuse to submit, we will be forced take things into our own hands.

Sincerely, Dr. Edgar Zomboss

Just as expected, Zomboss will kill us. Crazy Dave ordered us the hold the house and protect it at all costs. "Set up the defenses ASAP!"