My experience as an aroace person

✨My experience✨

I finally found happiness in who I am.
I haven't felt that in a long time, I used to hate the way my mind worked. After months of questioning my sexuality I finally found the label that I'm comfortable with.

I'm aroace, short for aromatic asexual.
It basically means that I don't get romantic or sexual attraction towards anyone. You might think "How does that work?" or "How did you find out?" or "Does that mean you'll be alone forever?"

Its actually pretty simple. So here I am explaining my experience and hoping that I might be helping other people out who are questioning.

I found out when I was 14 almost turning 15.
The age where most teenagers are exploring and figuring themselves out.
People got crushes on eachother, got into relationships etc.

I can already hear the comments "Isn't that a bit to young to know?" and "How do you know that you'll never find someone?"
Trust me, I know what I feel. I just do.

I was never the kind of person who got crushes on real people. Of course I find people good looking or 'hot'.  But my 'crushes' were mostly fictional or celebrities.
Even though it weren't real people, it still didn't feel like the crushes most people got.

It was more like I wanted them as friends and I admired their aesthetic.
When you're straight, lesbian, or pansexual, you're attracted to one or more genders.
I didn't feel that sort of attraction towards any gender.

I used to be very confused about it.
Seeing other people get into a relationship made me jealous and feel lonely.
People where always talking about the 'butterflies' you'd get in your stomach when you liked someone.
And I did not understood that feeling, I hadn't ever had that feeling.
Why couldn't I get that butterfly feeling?

Around the age of 14 I found out about a writer called Alice Oseman.
Alice's books where mostly famous because of the lgbtq representation.
You might know them, they wrote the very popular graphic novel called 'Heartstopper'. (I highly recommend it. You can read it for free on webtoon or tapas. ;))

When I read heartstopper for the first time I became obsessed with Alice's writing style and immediately ordered all of their other books.

One of Alice's books was called 'loveless'. It's about a girl called Georgia going to college and finding out her sexuality, aroace.

When I read that book, I felt myself relating a lot Georgia. She loved watching romance films and reading fanfiction, and so did I.

Its not as if all aroace people despise romance. I love romance. The idea of finding the perfect person who you'll spend the rest of your life with in love is amazing. I love the fictional world of romance, but in reality it kind of makes me 'cringe'.

I can't imagine myself in a romantic relationship. It feels wrong. And I kind of like the idea of having a independent future and not having to worry about other people.
Well, I do worry about people. I love my friends and family but having someone in my personal space 24/7 would make me uncomfortable.

anyways enough about the aromantic shit and onto the asexual shit.

Everyone experiences asexuality different. Some may loathe anything related to sex and some might still like the idea of sex and get pleasure out of it but just don't feel sexual attraction towards people.

And both are correct. aroace is an umbrella term and is different for everyone. You can still be bisexual or lesbian when you're aroace.
Some aromantic people  can be into platonic relationships. You can still have a preference for the aesthetics of a certain gender without wanting sex or romance.

A platonic relationship is an interest or desire for friendship or other close relationship with a particular person. Most often, this relationship is non-romantic and non-sexual, but also this is different for everyone.

I don't feel the need to have sex. I understand the 'hype' about it and how it can feel great. But like, I can live without and it's not a need in my life.

That doesn't mean that I might never lose my virginity but basically that I wouldn't mind at all if I'd never lose it.

I think this is all.
This is how I experience being aroace.
Ranting about my view in life actually helped me, and I hope that this may have helped you too!
Being aroace is hard and can feel lonely sometimes, but oh well, it's not the end of the world.
Im proud of you and ily. <3

If you ever feel the need to vent to someone, my tiktok is in my bio. Feel free to text me on there, i'll listen to you :)