the worst kind of heartbreak

Chapter 21 ~ i love her

Fallon 17

Present Time 

The past month of my life has been the best. I have never felt so happy with the one person I thought would always cause me heartache. Things are finally looking up for me, and him too.

The first week, Keaton and I hung out every single day after school and in our free time on the weekends. We spent every spare minute together, almost like we were making up for lost time. We went on dates, had secret sleepovers, and late night baking. It was like we were married, literally couple goals.

The second week, he took me on a picnic. We watched the sunset and I had plenty of food, and what's even crazier, I wasn't even thinking of the food or feeling uncomfortable. I was just eating it like it was nothing at all. That was when I realized I was healing. 

Because before, it would have been an immediate panic attack seeing all that food, let alone eating it. But he's taught me how to be comfortable in my own skin, he's slowly teaching me how to love the things about myself I used to hate.

The third week, we went to Mel's diner while Dove was working. I thought it would be hard getting back into the groove of our friendship, but Dove and I are closer than ever. In fact, it's that way with all of his friends, like I'm one of them. Which feels amazing by the way, finally feeling like I have a place, like I belong somewhere.

Anyway, it was an amazing night. We stayed at my place, and watched movies and ate popcorn. We laughed and we teased each other, it was like everything was perfect. Like the pain from before never even existed, and it was always this way. 

So innocent and pure. I fell asleep and he ended up staying the night. Waking up to see him playing with my hair and looking at me like I was the only thing that mattered, well let's just say it can't get any better than that.

And last weekend, we went to this really amazing place down in the woods. There was this beautiful cabin that his family owns. Being with him off where no one could find us was so liberating, so euphoric. We belonged to each other and I remember loving that feeling. Because it was finally like we let go of the past, only it's not that simple. Good things don't always last. I could lose him if I admit the thoughts I've been having.

Last weekend,

I run a brush through my chlorine infested hair, trying to get the tangles out of my brunette knots. Keaton showered first because I had to get my clothes together and my hair situation under control. He steps out of the bathroom looking...so good. His toned muscles all over his body, and the V line right above his towel... that I can't stop staring at. He is just so...

"Want to take a picture to make it last longer?" He jokes, causing me to blush as I realize I was biting my lip.

"Sorry." I smile, finishing grabbing my clothes and walking to the bathroom. We've been trying to take it slow, because we went too far in the past. If we want this to work, we need to slow down and learn how to love each other the right way first.

His words mean nothing, sex means nothing, unless he can give me what I need and commit. Time is the only thing that will heal our wounds, we can't disrupt the process with desire.

He stops me from walking in the bathroom, standing directly in front of me. I can see his jaw tense, the urge to cross my legs becoming very strong. He's trying so hard to hold himself back. My breathing starts quickening as his eyes roam all over my body, and somehow the fact that I know he's felt what's underneath these clothes before.

"God, you're so perfect."

I stand on the tips of my toes and kiss him softly, only a peck.