Running Towards the Sea

Ch 1: The Roommate

Ch 1: The Roommate
TW: disassociation, this chapter contains a POV of a character disassociating
Kenma’s POV:
    Somehow the school didn’t question how I filled out my entrance paper work, didn’t ask for much more information besides proof of residence, old grades, and payments that went through.  Somehow I made it through with my dignity and hope.  It didn’t hit me until I was sitting in my dorm, suitcase and backpack sat neatly, untouched on the middle of the floor that I thought ‘I'm out’.
    I could hear rummaging in the room next to mine while my new roommate got settled.  His parents were here helping him move in, and I found myself...jealous.  I wish my parents were here.  Wish I was born in a better form.  Wish I could understand fully what it felt like to have unwavering support from the only people I wanted it from.  But I didn’t.  So I sat on my empty bed and stared at the wall stone faced.  I sat there longer than I had realized, and noticed the sun had gone down and my room was now darker. The white walls felt...cold, but even if I wanted to hang something up I was shit out of luck. I hadn't packed anything to decorate with.
   A soft knock at the door woke me from my haze.  I almost thought I imagined it until I heard it again, a little louder this time.  Ripping my gaze from the walls  I pushed myself off my bed and went to the door pulled it open, and looked up at my roommate.  
“Kozume-san, my parents were going to take me to get dinner.  If you’re done unpacking you could come. They’re paying.”  I stood there for a half second, my breath catching in my chest before I opened my mouth.
    “Thanks, but I still kind of have a lot to unpack…”  my sentences never seemed to have definitive ends, it was like I never really knew what I was going to say.  As if I was never in control.
    “Yeah of course.  It’s no problem.”  His words were kind, but somehow I still felt like i had fucked up.  I felt like my body was screaming at me, to throw open my door and run yelling for them to wait for me.  It felt like I was making the same mistakes in highschool all over again, making him hate me.  I crawled onto my still unmade bed and squeezed my eyes shut.  The stars on the back of my eyelids made me dizzy until I was somehow lulled to sleep.  I hadn’t realized how truly exhausting this day had been.

Akaashi’s POV:
    I felt kind of bad, like I had bothered my new roommate.  He seemed quiet, but also bummed.  I wonder if it had anything to do with moving to school without his parents.  I thought mine were annoying, but I think I would have been much worse if I were doing this process alone.  When I invited him to dinner, after my mom forced me, I peeked into his room and noticed that either very little, or nothing of his things had been put away yet.  I even considered sending my mom over to his room to start getting it cleaned up for him.  She was the type to do that, always fretting over me and my close friends.  She especially doted over Bokuto, but that’s because she liked him best from my friend group.  She liked how he always asked her how she was doing, and always told her about his day, or how volleyball was going.  She always said that she appreciated the time he took to make sure everyone was happy, but honestly he did that naturally.  He was always the loudest one in the room, but it was in an endearing way.  He made sure everyone was laughing, was comfortable.  It’s like he had this sixth sense, and could always tell when someone needed to be included.  It’s one of my favorite parts about him.
    I was thinking about Bokuto while walking home from dinner holding some extra onigiri that we brought back for Kozume-san.  The night sky reminded me of playing volleyball at night in middle school with Bokuto. 
    “You seem distracted.”  my mom’s voice rang out like a clap making me not only jump a bit, but also blush some.  It was like she could read my mind and I had been caught.
    “He must be thinking about starting his classes.”  My dad winked at me, his deep voice bounced back at us off the sidewalk and I hung my head in shame a little as I realized that I should be thinking about school rather than my best friend.
“Y-yeah.” I stuttered a bit and reddened again as my mom’s light laugh floated through the air. I crack a grin. 
    “It seems like he might have been thinking about volleyball again.  Don’t forget that you also have classes you’ll need to focus on.”  She laughed again and my dad joined in, his loud laugh covering up hers a bit.
    “I will, I will.”  I chuckled a bit, but couldn’t quite get the thought of my best friend out of my head.  I imagined sitting in the library with the team to study, but sitting across from Bokuto. Everytime we study together Bokuto draws me dumb little comics and distracts me, he always makes people take breaks during studying.      
  I felt the steps of my dorm building hit the toe of my shoe and turned to face my parents. Both my mom and my dad had tears brimming in their eyes and I chuckled as I stepped up to my mom and hugged her. 
"I love you Mom, I promise I'll be good." I let her go and turned to my dad. He sniffed and pulled me into a hug. 
"Bye Dad. I love you." He pulled back to look me in the eye and nodded. To both of their benefits, no matter how many tears filled their eyes none fell. This is goodbye for now I suppose. 
  A sickening thought comes to mind and I realize I really might not know how to be an adult on my own. I'd never done it before, and maybe my mom did too much for me and now I won't know how to function as a real person. And my roommate and I will probably hate each other and I got him dinner...is that weird? Should I not give it to him? He looked like shit when I left, he's probably hungry…
"Akaashi. I'm so proud of you." My mom spoke to me and in those few words a warmth swept over my chest and melted away some of the stress. I smile at her and before I can really realize what's going on, I'm alone at college. I only live an hour away, but it still felt so far. I pulled out my phone and sent a message to Bokuto. 
Akaashi to Bokuto: "My parents just left." 
I was supposed to inform him when my parents were gone so we could drink.  I let the cool sea breeze cool me down.  The school was close enough to the ocean that the wind off the sea cooled us down, but not quite close enough to see the water from campus.  I let the ocean air lift away my worries from the day as I pulled out my buzzing phone.
Bokuto to Akaashi: "Kuroo's parents are still here so let's do tomorrow instead" 
Taking in one last breath of cool air I turn and go into the building.

Kenma’s POV:
    I managed to unzip my suitcase, but nothing was removed yet.  I felt like I was playing a video game and had to choose my next move. 
Kenma choose your next move.
Attack!
Kenma missed, the pants do not get unpacked!
I was fighting a losing battle, I was never going to beat the Suitcase Demon and save Clean Room Kingdom.  I flopped onto my back just on the floor next to my suitcase. It was much nicer than I expected, and I closed my eyes for a bit. Just to clear my head.
  When I woke up from my nap I sat straight up and looked around. For a half second, before my eyes could properly scan the room in the dark, I didn't remember where I was.  It wasn't until I stared at the Suitcase Demon (that now looked like a plain, unpacked suitcase) that I remembered where I was. I got up and padded down to the bathroom Akaashi-san and I shared and splashed my face with water and stared at my reflection in the mirror.  I didn't look like a stranger, so why did I feel like one.
  Our dorm consisted of two seperate bedrooms, a shared bathroom, and a shared living room...hallway space thing (it was small and oddly shaped).   Unfortunately there was no kitchen, so if I wanted to eat tonight I’d either have to head to a convenience store or the school's cafeteria...so I chose to go back into my room and attempt to unpack…again.  I turned on the overhead light and sat on the floor in front of my suitcase and unzipped it, tossing the top off and exposing the contents.  I stared in until everything became out of focus.
I remember highschool, and wearing some of these clothes.  My jaw was softer then, cheeks fuller. Maybe I looked like a stranger because I don't really recognize myself. I don't recognize my face next to these walls. Don't recognize the desk, the drawers. I think I'm lying to myself, I don't recognize myself because-
 I was ripped from my trance once again by my roommate banging on something.  I blinked at the door and got up, stretched and inhaled deeply before swinging the door open.  He pushed a container in my direction, but honestly I wasn't sure what he was doing at first.
    “My mom got these for you since you couldn’t make it to dinner.” there was a food container being pushed in my direction. I was a bit lost, but as soon as the plastic hit my finger I fully snapped to it. 
    “Thank you…”  I was shocked that she would even think about me, I mean I didn't  particularly charm any of them when we first met.  I figured she would have just forgotten about me.  I looked down at my socks and there was an awkward silence between us until he spoke again.  His voice was soft, and he spoke quickly.  Even though he seemed fairly quiet, he also kept talking to me.  I should try to be cool. 
“Want to go to a party tomorrow?” My right brow popped up in surprise. 
    “Where?” 
    “My friend’s dorm.” We were looking at each other, and I saw a smile start to creep onto Akaashi's face.
    “You’ve already got friends here?” my brows dragged down in a frown as I wondered when he had time to meet people already.  Maybe he wasn’t as quiet as I thought-
    “From highschool, yeah.”  Oh. Oh yeah, I forgot about that.  
    “Sure.”  Honestly I was surprised by my answer, but the creeping anxiety of being hated by everyone started like waves in my head, and the sound of my voice agreeing was the only thing to stop the thoughts.  
    His grin was taken over by a smile and he nodded at me, turned, and left.
“Thank you,” my voice was low, embarrassed “for the food.” I raised the box a little in acknowledgement and he again nodded as he turned and left. 
  I slowly closed the door to my room and sat again on the floor, and ate.  I closed my eyes as I chewed and pretended like I was eating a bento my mom packed me.  Pretended that I was at the park playing in the itchy grass. I wore overalls and tennis shoes and I lay exhausted from running around like a menace and I was a child who had no worries no exhaustion. i Lay there until my mom handed me my bento and I sat up to eat. I ate and watched birds fly, watched clouds run across the sky. It was the best bento I ever ate. This one was not as good, it tasted like homesickness and longing. Until I remembered who really brought me these. I snapped back at reality and swallowed the chewed rice in my mouth. Truly the food was delicious, I was just being melodramatic and I found myself guilty for even implying it didn't taste that good. 
    When I finished I stood up and went to my window, opening it fully to let the breeze take out the stale emotions from earlier in the day.  I closed my eyes again and took a deep breath of the salty air, letting it clear my head like it cleared my room.  With the newfound calm I finally unpacked and found myself laying on a made bed scrolling through my phone looking for posters to buy. I saw a couple of Nintendo posters from like the 90s and found myself buying them. I didn't have a ton of money to spend frivolously, but this felt a bit needed. They'd match my pile of video games in the corner, hooked to a shitty old box TV. I could be comfortable here. I think.