𝙰 𝚆𝚘𝚕𝚏𝚜𝚝𝚊𝚛 𝚈𝚞𝚕𝚎 𝙱𝚊𝚕𝚕

✩ Sirius ✩

[chapter cover credits to @solemnlyswear_art]

"Ahh, it's the Yule Ball this Saturday." Sirius sounds panicked. Not his usual self. He throws his quill down and slams his book shut and a small first-year nearby almost flies off the sofa.

"C'mon mate," James says, ruffling up his hair, "how many girls have asked you? You must be on to at least five by now?"

Sirius pulls a face and looks away, "why do you just assume I want a girl?"

James smirks, "well it's very unlikely that the famous Sirius Black doesn't want to go to the ball."

"I do want to go," he says looking up at the other boy. "Just not with anyone who's already asked me."

"Is it because four out of the five girls that asked you were taller than you?" James chuckles and nudges Sirius' leg with his foot under the desk.

"No- well... what's the problem with height? I can't help that I'm so short- and no, I just don't to go with them..." he trails off, gazing down at his clammy hands.

"Then whooo?" James says, sitting up straighter and pushing his glasses up his nose.

Sirius just shakes his head.

"Oh come on! We have no secrets!" James persists, then he blinks a bit and says, "or at least I think we have no secrets."

Sirius looks him in the eye and knows he can't keep this from his friend- his brother- he speaks slowly, struggling to string words together.

"James, I'm surprised you haven't noticed... I thought I was making it really obvious..."

James' eyebrows crease together. "Notice what?"

"I... I- I like Moony." He says quietly and looks away.

James' eyebrows almost shoot off his head.

Sirius looks up at him. "What? I've never lied to you, I like him Prongs, I really do."

James regains some control and nods slowly, a smile spreading over his lips. "So you want to go with Remu!?"

Sirius shushes him and looks around the common room. "Yeah... with Remus."

James closes his book and packs it in his bag and stands up. "Then that's what we'll do. TO REMU!"

At that moment Remus bursts through the portrait hole. "Stop calling me Remu!"

Sirius feels his insides churn and he can feel his heart banging in his chest. Remus is so hot when he talks like that.

"What do you want?" Remus says as he flings himself down next to Sirius as Lily follows him into the room then does a quick u-turn when her eyes land on James and makes her way back out the room.

"Lily! Wait!" James chases her out, leaving the two boys alone.

Remus chuckles and looks at Sirius' book and notes. "I haven't done the work yet."

Sirius can just nod and he stares at Remus' golden curls.

"D'you mind if I borrow your notes? I wasn't paying attention in the lesson."

Sirius just continues to nod, sitting completely still elsewhere.

Remus glances at him. "What's up?"

But Sirius doesn't hear him and his eyes and gazing down at Remus' hand on his work. So big...

It suddenly moves and the fingers click in front of his face, making Sirius jump back slightly.

"Earth to Padfoot!" Remus' voice cuts through his dream.

"I- er- yeah what?" Sirius splutters.

Remus just chuckles and shakes his head. "You dreaming about your date you've not told anyone about?"

Sirius bites his cheek and shakes his head then stops and tilts it to the side and smirks a little, getting an idea. "Well, I guess I am."

Remus raises an eyebrow and looks away so that Sirius can't see the look on his face.

"But they don't even know they're my date yet," Sirius adds quickly.

Remus just nods and bends down under the desk, grabbing his bag and some parchment and starts scribbling away, using Sirius' notes.

Sirius can feel the disappointment. He doesn't know if Remus truly feels the same way but something changed when he started talking about a date. Sirius just ignores it. He knows what James would tell him to do though: ask him right now!

No. Defiantly not.

So he decides to ignore the voice in his head that sounds like James and goes with the louder voice that's his own.

"That lesson was the day after the full moon wasn't it?" He asks but he can always remember when the next full moon is.

Remus pauses writing and looks up. "Yeah... how d'you remember stuff like that?"

Sirius shrugs but knows the answer. It's because he always makes sure he's alright. So he can understand his mood. So he can know what he needs.

Remus smiles a little and gets back to the work that was set by McGonagall, proofreading then packing away.

"Thanks for the notes," he says as he leans down to get a stray piece of parchment from the floor his, leg grazing Sirius'. Sirius takes a sharp breath and the number of wings fluttering in his stomach makes him feel dizzy. As Remus sits back up, he notices a blush spreading from his ears and down his neck and rising up his cheeks. Sirius looks away.

Remus just turns away and busies himself with packing his bag, making Sirius feel no less uncomfortable.

Sirius finally breaks the silence. "I wonder when James will give up with Evans."

Remus raises an eyebrow and looks at him, his face now less red. "Well, I was talking to Lily and I think she's slowly warming to him."

"Really!?"

"I'm as relieved as you are!" He says and stands up, stretching and yawning.

Sirius grins and nods then gets the crazy urge to ask him.

"Hey, Moons?"

Remus looks down at him, towering above him. "Mhm?"

Sirius just freezes. "Oh- never mind..."

Remus shrugs then yawns again, "well I'm off to bed."

Sirius nods and watches him go. When he hears his footsteps get far enough away, he bangs his fist down on the table, making the first year jump again.

"Fuck." That is all he can say.

✩ ☽✩ ☽