The Oncler x Lorax (more like Lor-got-an-ass)

Onceler POV

I just met the hottest, most orange beautiful dude ever. I C A M E here to start a business and for some reason when I chopped down a tree this hot goblin in orange lingerie shows up. I instantly fell in love with the tree goblin and he seemed interested in me too! "U got a fat ass bb," i said, "what's ur name?" "I'm the Lorax and I would never date a tree hating climate killing flat ass bitch like you" said the Lorax, kicking me off of his fat fat enormous ass. "Stop cutting down my hoes bitch" then he left. I was so #brocken that i turned emo and starting blasting mask by dream as i attempted to kill myself by choking on marshmellows. It didn't work. I couldn't help but think that I needed something bigger to choke on if y'know what i mean wink wink. SO i stopped being a depressed #emo bitch and instead tried to think of ways to impress my soon-to-be-husband. Only one thing popped into mind! So I chopped down every single tree, brutally murdered all the bears with marshmellow overdoses, and ordered a sexy truffala tree costume off amazon. My plan was *coming* together.